Empty Cradles
by TheLadyHoll
Summary: Olivia & Elliot have been married for a year,&have been trying to get pregnant for almost as long.At the same time the squad is dealing with a perp who likes to cut up pregnant women for their babies. Will Olivia forever be denied the family she deserves?
1. Chapter 1: Negative

**Hey everyone! It's started again :) I really should be focusing on my homework for the first week of university but instead I'm sitting here, snug and cozy, wrapped in the fuzzy blanket of E and O awesomeness! **

**P.s. for those of you who have read Love & Order, yes it is the same type of theme (aka EOship and baby) but the storyline is completely different obviously. But I mean really, if you get these two in the bedroom (which I would LOVE to do and would if I owned these characters :P) you're going to end up with babies. **

**So tell me what you think!Haha. Anyway, same rules apply with this story, 10 comments please before I update - and believe me...you want me to update ;)**

"Olivia…" Detective Olivia Benson looked up from her desk and over at her ex- partner turned husband. "What?"

"Nothing – that's what!" Elliot Stabler grinned mischievously as he gathered up some stray papers on his desk.

"Wow …you think we'll actually get out of here before dark?" Olivia teased back as she grabbed her coat and bag.

"Maybe…if don't make any sudden movements" he teased, blue eyes flickering with mirth as he walked shoulder to shoulder out of the special victim's squad room as Donald Cragen stepped out of his office.

"Benson, Stabler – sorry but no one's going home tonight; we've got another victim – 31st and George. This one's alive"

Elliot and Olivia exchanged looks of surprise, whoever this sicko they were dealing with was, he hadn't let the other two victims live.

"Did he?" Elliot started and the captain nodded.

"Yeah" the older man sighed wearily, rubbing a hand across his forehead tiredly. "Baby's been cut out, no sign of it".

"Come on Liv, I'll take you – Munch and Fin'll follow. I think they miss each other since we got married and had to split the team".

Once they were in the car and on their way to the crime scene, Elliot turned to Olivia with a smile. "So – you never told me what the results were before we left this morning".

Olivia looked over at Elliot who had taken her hand in his as he drove and her heart broke for the second time that day "it was negative, the test was negative" she whispered as her throat closed up with tears.

One escaped and rolled down her cheek and Elliot caught sight of it in the reflection of the window, "Hey, hey – Liv don't cry. It's going to be okay. Remember? The doctor said it might take a little while before we got pregnant, but that just means we get to try again". He wiped away the fallen tear with his thumb and Olivia shuddered responsively to the warm roughness of his hands.

"I know…I'm being stupid. I just thought…after all these years of questioning whether or not I'd make a good mother, and finally making a decision…I just thought it would be easier" she admitted, her hand fisted against her flat, empty abdomen.

"I was a couple days late so I got my hopes up. All that scarring from on the job injuries, it'll be a wonder if I ever manage to get pregnant -and if I do, I'll be in a nursing home before the kid's out of college" she spoke through gritted teeth, angry with herself for being so emotional.

"Every time I see a stroller, or I walk by a maternity store in the mall I feel a physical ache deep in my belly. My biological clock is ticking so loudly I wake up sometimes in a cold sweat swearing I can hear it. I feel like it's my fault I haven't conceived yet, because I'm so afraid of being a mother…but I want it more than anything and God, I love you so much and I can't even give you a child. I've never been jealous of Kathy except for the fact that she's given you five beautiful children, and my body is apparently such a hostile environment that I can't even give you one".

Elliot nodded grimly as he pulled into the parkway where three other unit cars were flashing their lights, but he didn't get out of the car immediately – instead unbuckling the seat belt and turning to face Olivia.

"Liv, we've been married for a little less than a year. And already I have been happier in this year alone than in all my years of marriage to Kathy. I love you so much Liv" he swore as he cupped her face in his hands.

"And nothing's going to change that, baby or no baby I'm going to want to be with you for the rest of my life. I've already wasted enough years not being with you".

Olivia nodded sadly before clearing her throat and snapping back to attention as Fin and Munch pulled in beside them. As they walked over to the grey Saab where their victim was they huddled against the bone chilling November winds.

Warner hailed them from the passenger seat where she was conducting the initial examination.

"This is definitely our guy. The uterus is about the size for an 8 months pregnancy" she shone her flashlight at the abdomen of the deceased woman that had been flayed open by some kind of scalpel.

Looking at the shredded remains of what had recently been the missing baby's home Olivia felt her own stomach rise into her throat.

As Warner continued to show them the evidence that the woman had fought back Olivia stumbled away a few steps, heaving violently over a trashcan in the corner emptying the contents of her roiling stomach.

Elliot came over to her, bracing her against him as she leaned over the garbage for a second time to be ill.

Olivia hadn't thrown up at a crime scene since the beginning of her time on the squad when she'd had to question a victim who'd been horribly disfigured by their dead rapist Stephan Tanzic; but remembering their conversation in the car, Elliot had a feeling why this victim was having such an effect on Olivia.

At a couple inches below shoulder length, her hair was still a little too short to get in the way, but Elliot held it back for her nonetheless as he rubbed her back in slow circles as he waited for her to finish.

"I'm sorry" she gasped, standing up again – rinsing her mouth out with the bottle of water Munch had gotten out of the car for her.

"I'm fine, I'm fine…really" she answered the question that she knew was coming from all of her friend's mouths. "It just doesn't get easier, ya know?"

Fin, Munch and Melinda all nodded in understanding and turned back to the crime scene.

But as Olivia followed them, Elliot keeping an unnecessary but appreciated steadying hand on her back, she couldn't help thinking that she would be happy to throw up, if only the reason for it was that she was pregnant with Elliot's baby.

**So tell me what you think!Haha. Anyway, same rules apply with this story, 10 comments please before I update - and believe me...you want me to update ;)**


	2. Chapter 2: Bellyache

**Here it is! Keep commenting guys, 10 more before the next chapter :)**

** P.s. YAAAAAAAAAYYYYY Mariska Hargitay's been nominated for another Emmy award! **

Knowing they wouldn't get any further in the case tonight, everybody headed home but with the image of the flayed woman tattooed on their minds and darkening their thoughts.

On the drive home, Olivia twisted her head around in slow circles, trying to get out the cricks in her neck. She sighed as Elliot reached over from the wheel, his fingers working into the tensed muscles.

He still couldn't quite believe he had the right to touch her anytime he wanted. They'd been married for almost a year, and still every time she walked into a room his heart and face lit up with the knowledge of her presence.

She moaned slightly, arching her back as Elliot's fingers deftly released a tight knot in her shoulders and he hardened immediately.

"God, I think you must be the pharmaceutical company's biggest enemy" he teased as they pulled into the parking garage under their apartment. She looked over at him, her eyebrow quirking up in question and he smiled.

"Who needs Viagra when they have you?" His fingers traced the contour of her neck, slowly dipping down until they found the buttons on her shirt.

Before he could go any further Olivia had unbuckled her seat belt and swung over the hump in the middle of the car so that she was straddling Elliot.

She clung to his shoulders as his hands worked their way through her hair, bringing her face down to his so he could take her lips in a passionate kiss.

Elliot's hands moved down, gently pushing aside her jacket to cup her breasts through the thin cotton knit of her shirt.

Olivia thought she would die from pleasure as Elliot's mouth found her breast, laving the peak through the thin lace of her bra until she could start to feel the first sparks and stirring of an orgasm coiling in the pit of her stomach, winding heady tendrils of desire around her sense until all she could see and hear and feel was Elliot as he loved her with his hands and mouth.

This was amazing; she had never climaxed just from foreplay before.

Elliot could feel Olivia's breathing quicken and grow ragged, could feel her moist heat as she pressed against him. "Oh, oh God…Ellll" she moaned, her eyes half closed as she reached the brink of climax.

He circled the pads of his thumbs over the stiffened tawny peaks of her breasts and her breath caught suddenly and she cried out, her body trembling and shaking over his for a long moment until she collapsed on him, breathing heavily as she laid her head against his chest.

Once she'd caught her breath she looked up at Elliot sheepishly through a veil of chestnut hair that had fallen around her face and now clung to her neck with the sweat of her desire.

He grinned broadly as he helped her to sit back up and rearrange her clothing. Now that her sense had returned Olivia glanced around the parking garage, looking to make sure no one had seen them. Not that they could have told who was inside the car because of the steamed up windows.

"I feel like I'm 17 again, fooling around in the back of my parent's old Buick with Sadie Larkin" Elliot remarked as Olivia awkwardly extricated herself from the driver's side and they walked into the elevator.

She shot him a look, "Talking about the probably lithe young body of a 17 year old is not exactly what I call romantic seeing as I have 30 years or so worth of cellulite and saggy skin on her" she joked as they waited for the button signalling the 16th floor to light up.

"Never" Elliot growled as the door to their apartment shut behind them and he scooped Olivia up off her feet, taking her with his mouth again.

That night as they were getting ready to go to bed, Elliot wrapped his arms around Olivia, drawing her close.

His knuckles grazed the flat plane of her belly before his hand settled there, warm and steady.

She nuzzled into his shoulder and he bent his head to whisper fiercely in her ear; "No matter what happens, Liv. I'll be there…I love you".

"I love you too" she murmured, curling into his arms so he could feel her hot breath against his skin as her breathing took on the regular pattern of sleep.

In the moments before sleep claimed her, Olivia let herself relax and enjoy the feel of lying in Elliot's arms.

It was never going to get old for her, she thought, to be able to curl against him – using the strong breadth of his chest as a shield against the world of evilness and pain that filled their daily lives.

But more than anything, she wanted to feel Elliot's hands touch her belly when it was swollen with their child, not taut and empty and lifeless.

For all the times she'd been sure she wasn't cut out to be a mother, she wanted it now with a ferocity and depth and ache that surprised her.

Elliot watched as Olivia's brow furrowed and she frowned slightly in the moments before she succumbed to the exhaustion that drew down their bodies day after day. He would do anything, anything for her.

When it came to Olivia Benson there was nothing he could refuse or wouldn't give to her willingly. Anytime she looked up at him he was blown away by the warmth and heart in her eyes – and there was no better feeling than when they sparkled as she laughed or smiled. He would be thrilled if they got pregnant of course, but he wouldn't risk losing Olivia for anything – his Olivia.

They hadn't told anyone from the team that they were trying to get pregnant; it would have only made it harder each month that went by when her body irrefutably stayed the same, refusing to change to grow a child.

But as Olivia and Elliot came into the office the next morning, they started to wish they had – maybe what was about to happen next wouldn't have if the SVU team had known of their private battle.

"Olivia – Elliot", Cragen joined the team's morning meeting as they talked about which new leads to follow on the 'Cradle Robber' – the pet name they'd given whatever sadist was cutting up pregnant women for their babies.

1PP had already told them in no uncertain terms that this case was their top priority, which it was. But they couldn't help but wonder if the fact that the police commissioner's daughter was expecting her first child very soon that got this case the mass media coverage and following it had.

"We've decided to send you two undercover; we're thinking this guy hangs around pregnancy clinics or groups, right? So who better to lure him out with than a newly married couple who are expecting a baby?"

"Uh Cap…" Elliot started to say something, but Olivia's hand on his arm made him stop.

"Captain, I might have gained a few pounds since the wedding, but uh- I'm definitely not pregnant" she questioned Don as she swallowed back the bile that rose when she said the words aloud that she wasn't expecting.

"I know that" he continued, "Which is why we got one of these". Cragen nodded to Fin who reached into a large cardboard box sitting at the side of one of the wooden desks and pulled out…

"What in the hell is that?" Elliot asked, eyeing the fleshy coloured contraption that looked like some kind of Halloween costume gone wrong.

"It's a fake pregnancy belly" one of the tech guys from TARU explained. "But a really high tech one that will even project a heartbeat if listened to with a stethoscope, it can also be adjusted to mimic different stages of pregnancy; from 6 months to full term".

Olivia eyed the suit wearily. With a sigh she grabbed it and headed into the bathroom to try it on, knowing her assignment undercover was going to start immediately.

Sliding the apparatus over her head she adjusted it slightly so that sat just under her breasts before putting her shirt back on.

She knew she needed to get back out to the squad room, but she couldn't take her eyes off of the reflection in the mirror. Staring back at her was a slightly shocked looking woman in her seventh month of pregnancy.

Running her hands over her 'belly' she swore she could feel her heart breaking with what they were asking her to do. But she couldn't tell them, of course she couldn't.

The case and the victims came first, like always – even if it meant selling a little part of her soul to do it.

**Poor Liv, but the next chapter there are some BIG surprises - so review review review!**


	3. Chapter 3: Mission Impregnable

**Ooh that was some fast reviewing :) Keep it up!**

**Something wonderful happens this chapter, but like always life doesn't turn out to be fair - so next chapter there's some major perp drama. **

**So ten more reviews until the next chapter...which I have yet to write...MOTIVATE MEE!**

Elliot couldn't have felt more torn apart as Olivia emerged from the washroom with the prosthetic belly under her clothes.

On the one hand, his heart had jumped into his throat as he'd gotten a glimpse of what she would look like, swollen with their child. But on the other hand, he could see how much having to do what she was doing hurt her, even if no one else could. He'd always been able to tell when Olivia Benson was hurting.

"How do I look?" she joked as she spun around in a circle, coming over to the group. "

Damn" Fin said as he stared at his partner, "that thing is realistic…freaky. You look like you knocked up mama".

"So" Cragen continued, pulling out the oh-so familiar looking case folders that they knew contained their briefing. "You'll continue to live at your apartment, the only difference is that you will obviously be pretending that you're expecting a baby later on".

"How long do you think it's going to take to catch this guy – if this even is our guy? I can't stay pregnant forever"

Again the captain nodded, "this is how it's going to play out. Just to be safe, we're going to start out with you going to the doctor, but not as an expecting couple, just a couple trying to conceive. We know we can't fool a doctor with a fake pregnancy so it's too risky to pretend to be further along – especially if the doctor is in on the whole thing".

Elliot squeezed Olivia's hand, trying to give her some measure of comfort as Cragen continued on, not knowing just how close to the mark his two detectives would be playing it.

"After a month or so, we'll be able to tell if the doctor is part of the scam or not – and if he's not we can pay him to falsify the medical reports of your so-called pregnancy when you go in for appointments with your growing prosthetic belly. If he is, we'll have to find some other way to work this".

He also handed them credit cards, "Use these. They have your fake identities listed and the charges go straight through to the NYPD instead of having to worry about circumventing your insurance with the clinic costs".

"Elliot and Olivia Morrison" Olivia read aloud off the cards. "Okay – I guess we'll see you guys…?" her voice trailed off and Cragen answered her question.

"We'll be coming over undercover as deliverymen probably once a week. Anyone asks what we're doing there we just say you're renovating the apartment and making space for a nursery".

Elliot packed away the prosthetic stomach in a plain black duffel bag and turned towards Olivia. "You ready to go?"

"Um, yeah…I think I have everything" she flashed him a smile. "Let's hit the road".

"Olivia…" Elliot turned to her once they got into the car, but she just shook her head. "I'm okay" she tried to smile up at him, but he turned her face back to his, "Liv" he said again shaking his head sadly. "Please Elliot…I'm not okay, alright? I'm not. But my own personal life can't affect how I do my job so I just need to get over it" she said again, her eyes pleading him not to pursue the topic.

"I'm part of your personal life now Olivia, you don't have to go through everything alone anymore. When I married you, I meant my vows. Not only will I be there through the good and the bad, but I want to be there, I want to go through it with you. You never have to be scared and alone anymore, it's not always a sign of weakness to depend on something – it can be a sign of your strength that you're willing to admit that maybe you can't carry the whole weight of the world on your shoulders".

"Have I told you how much I love you recently?" Olivia offered up as a peace offering.

"Mmm" Elliot replied smirking as he parked in front of the maternity clinic. "Besides" she added as they walked up the steps of the upscale brownstone unit, "with the NYPD footing the bill, maybe this doctor can help us actually conceive".

Olivia forced herself to look around the waiting room, knowing that their killer might be one of the people or couples sitting there, even though the last thing she wanted to do was look at belly after swollen belly, each one mocking her with its roundness as a reminder of her failure to get pregnant.

Her own stomach churned unpleasantly, "Eurgh" she wrinkled her nose in distaste as she tried to breathe through the wave of nausea. "You think pregnancy is contagious?" she joked weakly "I'm already nauseous. If you ever make me eat at another Thai place where all the meat looks the same…"

Elliot rubbed the back of her neck as he leaned closer, a concerned look on his face. "I think we need to get you to a real doctor Liv, I thought you throwing up yesterday was because of the nature of the case, but you've been feeling rotten for the last two weeks".

"I told you, it's PMS – I always get crampy and achy around this time of the month. It also accounts for how bloated I am. Now stop fussing or they'll think you're MY wife" she joked.

But in reality she did not feel well at all, a cold sweat had broken out on the back of her neck and she felt oddly detached from reality – almost as if she was looking down at herself from above.

"Mr. and Mrs. Morrison" a nurse stepped out from behind the desk and gestured at them to follow her to an examination room.

But as soon as Olivia stood up, her head spun and a roar filled her ears; she tried to call out for Elliot, but the words stuck in her throat as the room exploded in tiny sparks of light before the darkness closed in, silencing everything.

Elliot watched in horror as he saw Olivia's face pale as she stood, swaying on the spot. Suddenly her knees gave out and she buckled, falling unconscious to the floor.

"Oh God – Olivia!" Elliot yelled as he gathered her into his arms on the floor, cradling her head in his hands. "Honey come on, wake up for me – open your eyes Liv" he begged as a bevy or nurses rushed over.

The oldest most matronly looking one clucked her tongue briskly; "Come on then, let's get her into an examination room so the doctor can examine her. If I had a dollar for every time a pregnant woman has fainted in this office "– she muttered. "And this one looks half starved to death!"

"She's not pregnant" Elliot tried to explain as the nurse wrapped a blood pressure cuff around Olivia's arm once he'd laid her down on the exam table.

"Blood pressure's a little low…has she been eating and drinking enough?" the nurse continued, looking at her watch as she counted Olivia's heart rate.

"Just coffee, a Danish and half an apple this morning" Elliot snapped, wanting this idiotic woman to do something, anything to help Olivia. But instead the Nurse Nazi glared at him and wagged a finger accusingly, "Coffee is off limits for pregnant women" she snapped "and a pastry and a piece of fruit isn't enough to keep anyone going until noon, especially if they're pregnant unless they're a mouse".

"She's not pregnant dammit!" Elliot lost it and yelled at the nurse, who instead of looking frightened or repentant merely looked unimpressed as she looked back down at Olivia. "We'll see…oh look, she's coming around now- Mrs. Morrison how are you feeling?"

Olivia fought past the aching heaviness of her eyelids and opened her eyes to see a white faced Elliot and a dour looking nurse standing over her, waving a blood pressure cuff and saying something about mice.

A whimper escaped her lips and Elliot was instantly at her side, smoothing her hair back from her face and pressing his forehead to hers gratefully.

"What? What happened, how did I get in this chair?" she tried to sit up but was restrained by both the nurse and Elliot.

"You blacked out in the waiting room Liv; you were out for almost 5 minutes".

"Oh" her brow furrowed in confusion. But before she had time to ask any more questions a doctor bustled in the door – adding to the madness and chaos of the room.

"So Mrs. Morrison, I hear we're not feeling too well"

"What we?" Olivia thought, "You weren't the one cracking your skull against cement".

"We're just going to run a few tests alright? I see here on your form you've been trying to conceive for a little under a year?" Olivia nodded, her head sliding uncomfortably against the crinkly white paper covering the exam chair.

"I normally tell my clients not to start worrying until it's been 18 months, but I'll be happy to have a look and see if anything abnormal is going on down there".

The doctor smiled and pushed Olivia's chair into a reclining position. "Oftentimes we see women with a tilted uterus, which can make implantation harder so I'm just going to do a basic ultrasound to see if everything is looking like it should, although you have no history of occlusion or ovarian cysts".

Olivia tensed as the cold gel was rolled across her abdomen, all she could think of was how it reminded her of a giant roll-on deodorant stick. Suddenly a rhythmic fluttering sound filled the room.

"Wow" Olivia frowned, "is my heart rate that fast?" she turned to Elliot who was staring at the fuzzy grey and black image on the computer screen. This time it was him who was looking faint.

"Liv" Elliot found his voice, all the while not moving his eyes from the screen and swallowing drily before continuing. "That's not your heartbeat".

"Congratulations Mrs. Morrison, I'd say we have a healthy 8 week old fetus here".

Olivia's heart skipped a beat - or ten but when she spoke her voice was even. "I'm sorry, you must be mistaken…I took a test yesterday morning and it was negative. I'm not pregnant".

"I can assure you Mrs. Morrison, you're pregnant…very much so. The baby has a nice strong heartbeat and everything looks fine for so early in the game" the man insisted, dragging a sheet of paper towel across Olivia's abdomen to remove the majority of the gel.

"I'll be back in a few minutes to take some blood samples for testing – make sure your hormone levels are sufficient to carry a pregnancy" the doctor said as he left the room and the two shocked people inside of it who were still staring at the image left up on the computer screen.

Wide eyed, Olivia looked over at Elliot who was slowly coming out of his trance of shock. And without knowing why, tears started spilling down her face and cheeks.

"Liv, what's wrong? I thought you wanted a baby" Elliot gathered her into his arms, pressing his mouth to the top of her head.

"I do" she choked out, "I do, I'm just so happy Elliot". She lifted her head, crying and laughing at the same time.

"I love you so much". Cradling her head between his hands Elliot kissed her fervently before bending over her still bare belly, pressing feather light kisses to her navel. "And I love you too little one".

Olivia's hands brought Elliot's lips back to hers, "I'm going to have a baby" she whispered, as if they were sharing a wonderful secret that only they knew.

"We're going to have a baby" Elliot corrected her gently as his palm rested on her belly, over the new life they'd created together in love, and were going to bring into the world with all the love imaginable.

***Sigh* but their bliss doesn't last for long. R & R!**


	4. Chapter 4: Baby Gift

**OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! *RUNS AROUND SCREAMING AND TEARING HAIR OUT* **

**I'm watching the season premiere of SVU RIGHT NOW and it is INSANEEEEEEEE! Liv seems more in love with Elliot than ever and he is being CRUCIFIEDDD! Don't wanna spoil it for you guys but tell me what you think of it! I'm dyingggg!**

**Also, REVIEW and tell me what you think of this chapter! In honor of season 13 I', asking for 13 reviews before the next chapter goes up! Gah! EO LOVEEEE**

It was official. At barely 10 weeks Olivia already could not fit into any of her pants without leaving the zipper halfway down.

"Eurgh – seeing as I can barely keep anything down it seems impossible that I've already bloated out so much" she griped one morning, sitting down at the kitchen table and leaning back so she could examine the futility of the possibility of getting her zipper up all the way.

"It's not bloat – it's baby" Elliot came up behind her, kissing her just below the ear – a place she had always found to be intensely erotic. "How are you feeling?"

"Mmmm" she sighed, closing her eyes as Elliot's hands smoothed down her shoulders until they came to rest, just cradling the slight bulge of her belly.

"Nauseous, but other than that pretty good".

"You know we're going to have to tell Cragen soon. Our next appointment with Dr. Katz is this week and we're going to have to figure out how to work this without you undercover".

Olivia pulled back, eyes flashing. "What do you mean 'without me undercover'? Don't you see? This is perfect, we have the perfect in at the clinic and we don't know yet if Dr. Katz is in on anything yet. There's still the possibility that all three victims going to the same clinic has nothing to do with the doctor".

"Olivia, there's no way Cragen is going to agree to let you continue to work this. It's putting you and the baby in danger".

"But you'll be with me the entire time at the appointments – which are in a public place. Do you think I would do anything to risk the health of our child?"

Elliot was cornered. He sighed wearily, rubbing his eyes. "Alright, at the appointment this week we start asking questions. See if there were any other groups affiliated with the clinic that the other women belonged to. But we tell Cragen and the rest of the squad when they come over on Friday after the appointment for our next meeting".

He grabbed an apple, throwing it into the air once and catching with the same hand. "I'm just going to grab a few files from the office. Did you want anything while I'm out?"

"Ooh yes! Could you pick up some gummy sour keys and some of those hot banana pepper ring things?" she called out after him.

"Guess it's not too early for those weird cravings to start, eh?" he laughed as he grabbed his coat, coming over to kiss her before he left.

She smiled sheepishly and then yawned. "Alright, see you later. Junior here is making me so sleepy I think I'm going to take a nap".

Lying down on the couch, Olivia slowly pressed her hand into her belly, reveling in the small firm swelling that signified her baby's presence.

She was still waiting for her stomach to 'pop' so she truly looked pregnant instead or looking like she had a beer gut that had started to overflow over her belt buckle.

She woke up an hour later to the sound of the door buzzer going off incessantly. "Hold your horses, I'm coming" Olivia grumbled as she got to her feet.

Pressing the intercom button, she asked "Who is it?"

"Delivery for you Olivia" the voice of her doorman answered. "Did you want me to bring it up for you? I'm just going on my break now".

God bless that man, she thought to herself. The thought of finding and putting on shoes and going downstairs was making her tired all over again. This baby was really sucking the life out of her.

"Thank you James, you're amazing!" she teased the older gentleman over the intercom.

"The man wanted to bring it up himself, but when I paged you first to see if you were expecting anybody he just dropped it and ran off" James explained as he put down the cardboard box in the middle of her living room a few minutes later.

An uneasy feeling started in the pit of her stomach, but she didn't want to worry James so she plastered on a fake smile. "Thanks again James, now don't let me keep you from your lunch" she walked him to the door.

"No problem Mrs. Stabler" he tipped his hat and left, whistling to himself as he walked down the hallway.

Despite the flutter in her stomach that she still got whenever someone called her by her married name, the uneasy feeling that she'd gotten when she heard there was a package was still there.

Grabbing a box-cutter from the toolkit under the kitchen sink she walked over to the package. It was a plain cardboard box taped with duct tape, nothing about seemed out of the ordinary.

She sliced into it and pulled out the card that was sitting on top addressed to Detective Benson. "Congratulations on your new baby!" the card read fairly innocuously.

Lifting out the tissue paper and bubble wrap she saw the fold of a blanket, and her first thought was that someone had sent a baby gift. But they hadn't told anyone about her pregnancy yet, not even anybody back at SVU.

She uncovered more of the blanket and saw that something was wrapped tightly in it. She folded back the blanket and screamed.

Swaddled in the infant's receiving blanket was the tiny lifeless body of a newborn. Her breaths came harsh and fast and she drily swallowed back the bile that had risen in her throat at the sight of the dead baby. She would bet anything the DNA would match one of the victims in the Cradle Robber Case.

She knew it was dead, the cold waxy paleness of the skin told her as much, but still – it felt so wrong to leave the body in the cardboard box – like it was trash left out on the street.

Tears ran freely down her face as she reached for the phone. When Elliot answered on the second ring she was so relieved to hear his voice that she completely broke down sobbing. "Olivia? Honey what is it? The baby?"

She just cried harder. "Dead, I – I got a delivery…opened the box…dead baby inside…cradle robber…oh God, come home".

"I'm coming home Liv. Everything's going to be okay" he promised her, hating himself for leaving her alone to find what she had.

Olivia had taken the baby out of the box, and was holding it crying when Elliot burst through the door less than 20 minutes later.

"Oh Liv" Elliot breathed as he sat down next to her. He took the dead infant out of her arms but she barely seemed to notice.

Looking down at the body – it was a little girl, looking at the tiny chest that would never take a breath, eyes that would never see the world, Elliot's throat closed over as well – not only with fear, and concern, and regret – but with anger as well.

Anger that there was someone out there killing pregnant women and their unborn children for no other purpose it would seem, than to hurt them.

Blinking back the wetness in his eyes that threatened to spill over, he turned back to Olivia, who had gone as pale as the infant and he folded her into his arms where she buried her face in his chest.

Finally after what seemed like hours, but was really only a couple of minutes, Olivia sat back – shakily pushing her hair out of her eyes.

"I'm sorry" she gulped, trying to take in deep breaths to calm herself down. "I'm sorry, it's just…"

"I know sweetheart, I know".

"All I could think of was our baby, and now the other mothers were robbed of the chance and never got to hold their babies in their arms" her face crumpled again as she covered her stomach with her hands still staring at the unmoving bundle on the floor. As if shielding her tummy would also shield her baby from any harm.

There was a knock on the door and Elliot pressed his lips to Olivia's forehead before getting up to answer it.

Cragen, Munch, Fin and Dr. Warner stood outside the door. Elliot had called them before he'd gotten home knowing that Olivia wouldn't be freaking out about anything minor – so whatever the problem was it had to be big.

They were silent as they took in the lifeless form of the infant on the living room floor. Even Melinda closed her eyes for a moment before going over to examine the body.

"How long did she live?" Cragen asked, his voice even gruffer than usual.

"I won't know until the autopsy, I can tell you that she's been dead less than 72 hours".

Munch nodded as he took in the information, "Nina Alvarez" he said sadly; referencing the woman they'd found slashed in her car who hadn't lived long enough to see her baby.

"Damn" was all Fin said as Warner re-wrapped the tiny body, placing it in a body bag whose small size was enough to choke anyone up.

"There's something else you need to know" Elliot started, wrapping his arm around Olivia as she came to stand next to him.

"I'm pregnant…really" Olivia said simply, uncrossing her arms from around her waist so they could see the proof for themselves in her thickening figure.

"H-how far along?" Cragen asked.

"About 10 and a half weeks. We found out at our first appointment with Dr. Katz".

"Who; we don't think has anything to do with the murders. We're thinking it's some other, outside source" Elliot joined in.

"Maybe this will give us a clue" John had slipped on a plastic glove and pulled a second card out of the box that had evidently been hidden under the newspaper and bubble-wrap.

"Dear Olivia" it read.

"Congratulations on your soon-to-be new little arrival. Just thought I'd send you a little 'baby gift' per say. I can't wait to have a play date with your new bundle of joy – I bet he or she will be just as much fun to play with as this baby girl was. I have a feeling your baby will be the one, the perfect little doll. I know you're thinking of me".

Olivia was quiet for a long moment before closing her eyes and swaying slightly on her feet. Her face grayed and she wrenched herself out of Elliot's arms and bolted to the bathroom.

Olivia burst through the door, all she could see was the lifeless stare and feel how feather light the dead weight of the baby in her arms.

She fell on her knees in front of the toilet, her knees sliding on the cold ceramic floor because of the cold sweat that had broken out all over her body and gave up the meagre contents of her stomach.

Her arms were shaky as she held herself above the toilet bowl. Oh God…this was all her fault. Who did she know that would even be capable of this sort of twisted perversion? And whoever it was didn't like the fact that she was carrying another man's baby – he thought that he had a right to her body. But as her mind roiled, so did her stomach and she retched again until she saw white spots in front of her eyes.

A cool, blessedly familiar hand rested on the small of her back – its twin holding her hair away from her face and off of her neck so that the air cooled her skin.

In the back of her mind, in between bouts of sickness, she registered the sound of the tap running and then a damp roughness scratching over her clammy skin, refreshing her and making her feel vaguely human again.

Elliot pressed the cloth to the back of her neck, leaving it there for a moment. Finally, when Olivia had finished being ill, or else had nothing else to bring up Elliot flushed and gently pulled her back so she was cradled to his chest as he stood.

"Ugh, I'm so embarrassed" she mumbled as Elliot put her down on the couch, covering her with a blanket and sitting on the other end by her feet.

"Don't be, babygirl" Fin soothed as Melinda walked out of the kitchen where she had been rooting around in the cupboard. She produced a plate of saltines and grapes and a mug of decaffeinated tea and set them down on the coffee table.

"Try this, worked for all three of my pregnancies".

"Thanks Melinda but I don't think I could eat" Olivia smiled wanly.

Melinda wasn't deterred and held out the plate so that it was directly in front of Olivia; "Try".

Sighing, Olivia reached out and gingerly popped a grape into her mouth, seeing as how she was sure the crackers would be dry and get stuck in her throat. She bit into it and the cool juice of the grape burst and spilled over her tongue, surprisingly, and pleasingly calming her stomach.

Melinda just smiled as she watched Olivia's expression change, "told you" she chided gently.

Olivia closed her eyes for a moment, she was so tired.

And all the people in the room cared about her so she didn't have to keep up looking completely professional – something she'd already ruined by nearly throwing up on a crime scene.

So she laid her head on Elliot's shoulders, letting him hold her up when she didn't think she could.

"Olivia" now Cragen stepped forward, "you know 1PP is going to take you off this case, but before you're debriefed by them and told not to say anything – do you think Dr. Katz is behind any of this?"

Olivia thought of the friendly Jewish doctor and shook her head briefly, before regretting the action as the room spun.

"No – besides, the note makes it sound like whoever is doing this knows me personally – has had a relationship with me, or at least thinks he has…but Captain – don't take me off of this. Nothing is going to happen to me when Elliot's around; and we still have to find out where our perp is finding these women if it's not the doctors office".

Everyone in the room looked down at her disapprovingly.

She pushed aside the blanket covering her lap and molded her hands to the small swell of her belly.

"This guy has his sights set on me now…I need to know that my baby is safe" she said determinedly, drawing strength from the firm bulge beneath her fingers.

Cragen sighed, "Anything…I mean anything looks or sounds dangerous or suspicious and you're out of there alright? We don't need any martyrs".

He paused, his stern face relaxing slightly but keeping its pinched worried look, "we need you safe, Olivia, you and your baby".

"I would never do anything that put my baby in danger Captain". Olivia swore fiercely before falling silent for a moment and looking uncertainly over at Elliot.

"It's like my whole world has shifted; and now everything revolves around the baby…She's all I think about" she added softly, looking unsure – and feeling scared by just how fiercely she already loved the tiny life growing underneath her heart.

**Also, REVIEW and tell me what you think of this chapter! In honor of season 13 I', asking for 13 reviews before the next chapter goes up! Gah! EO LOVEEEE**


	5. Chapter 5: A Mix of Emotions

**Just letting everyone know...I openly sobbed at the end of the season premiere. Gah! I can't stand it, I can't stand it! Oh Olivia!**

**Anyways, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Send me some looove, need some motivation for this story...although I need to be finishing Homer's Iliad for my lecture on Monday...oh well! Elliot and Olivia make a much better epic! So 10 review as always! Ciao bellas! (I'm also taking Italian :) )**

After everyone from the team had left, Elliot thanked them; closing the door and came over to the couch before lifting her into his arms – tucking her into bed and wrapping the blankets tightly around her small shivering frame.

"She was so tiny, El – so small and innocent and cold…she was so cold" Olivia shivered despite the heavy layer of blankets.

"Liv – I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry I wasn't here" he lay down next to her and pulled her close to him again trying to make her stop trembling.

"What made us think we were ready to have a baby El? Maybe you are, you've gone through this 4 times before and you're already an amazing father to your kids – all of whom are happy and healthy and beautiful…but I can't even keep my baby safe while she's inside of me."

Elliot's hand stole down to her belly and she arched into it, relishing the warmth she could feel radiating from his touch. "This baby is so lucky to have you for its mother, Liv. And I'm so lucky to have you as my wife and the mother of my child".

She twisted around, lifting her leg so that his hand was trapped between her legs. "Make me feel again Elliot, I need to know I'm alive" she pleaded.

Elliot could never say no to those eyes, especially when they looked up at him, begging him to take her pain away in their chocolate-y depths.

Slowly he stroked the dampening entrance to her body, utterly aroused at how ready she always was for him. He pushed aside the thin fabric of her panties, just skimming the delicate folds of flesh until he had her practically humming with desire. Olivia squeezed her eyes shut as she clamped around his fingers, wanting him deeper inside her.

"Elliot", she moaned out his name, gasping at the end as he took her with his mouth. She grabbed at his shoulders, "I-I need…"

"Tell me what you need Liv, I'll give you anything".

"I want you in me…I need to feel you in me".

His lips moved to her breasts and her breaths became faster and quicker.

"Oh!"

Elliot looked up at her but she shook her head, eyes still closed in mounting ecstasy, "are they sensitive".

"Mmmm, yeah" she breathed out.

In one fluid movement Elliot drove himself into her, holding her close – her teeth closing on his shoulder in passion as she climaxed.

At the first rumbling vibrations Elliot came with her – whispering how much he loved her, telling her how beautiful he thought her body was as it changed with his child and she sobbed out as she orgasmed.

As she came down from the brink of climax Elliot held her close, kissing away her tears as they fell – knowing they were just a form of release of everything she'd been holding inside her for this case and for this pregnancy.

"I love you so much" she croaked out, holding his face above hers with her hands.

He kissed her, "I love you too Liv. I always have and I always will" he promised her.

"And I'm so happy I'm having your baby" she whispered tearfully smiling up at him.

He slid down her and the bed until his torso was resting on her thighs and he kissed her belly; rubbing the small hard mound tenderly, reverently. "My baby…my wife…my sweet, perfect Liv".

All too soon it came to the day of her 12 week ultrasound. Their appointment was scheduled for 9 o' clock that morning, so when Elliot realized the time had gotten to 8:30 already he went upstairs to see if Olivia had fallen back asleep after her shower.

Her morning sickness had increased with a vengeance after her tenth week and it was completely draining her, whether she would admit to it or not.

But as he came to the door of the bedroom, he stopped – smiling gently as he leaned against the doorframe taking in the scene in front of him.

Olivia stood in front of the full length mirror on one side of the master bedroom. She'd pushed up thickly knit cream sweater to expose her bare midriff, tugging down on her pants so that they sat underneath the girth of her stomach.

She ran her fingertips slowly over her belly, looking herself in the mirror, her head tilted to one side as she examined her changing figure.

Her newly and increasingly sensitive breasts had swollen almost an entire cup size already – but even their newfound splendour didn't diminish the fact that her belly had swollen even further so that it rounded into a low firm mound.

She tried to suck her stomach in, which succeeded in her being able to pull her zipper another stubborn millimetre, but the lump of her baby made a bump that couldn't be sucked in and she released her breath heavily, watching ruefully as the zipper undid itself even further than before.

She rested one hand at the top of the slight swell, and placed the other on the bottom of her abdomen – molding it to the newfound curve of motherhood.

She looked at herself for a moment, almost disbelievingly at the picture of femininity and motherhood she made.

She never thought that she, Olivia Benson, would one day be married to a man she was absolutely head over heels in love with, and carrying his child that caused her shirt to ride up like it was doing.

But as pleased as she was that there was a new little life growing beneath her heart, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.

She knew Stabler babies were big, but most pregnant women were barely showing by 12 weeks – and here she was already struggling to fit into her clothes.

Elliot watched her brow furrow and her lips purse as she turned to study her profile and his breath caught in his throat.

God, she was so beautiful. They'd been married for more than a year, and in that year she'd brought such indescribable joy into his life…And now she was carrying his baby.

He thought she'd never looked so gloriously beautiful as she did now, her lean lithe body softening and rounding with the curves of motherhood.

"You look beautiful" Elliot said huskily, coming into the room to stand behind her, and she laid her head back against his chest as he buried his face in her hair, inhaling the sweet fragrance that was all Olivia.

"I look big" she deadpanned back, "How long have you been standing there?" she accused teasingly.

"Mmm, long enough to almost make me want to forget about the appointment and take you here and now right on the floor" he nuzzled her neck and she felt her knees weaken slightly.

But she frowned, her attention returning to her reflection, except now her bare belly was covered with Elliot's hand as he held her to him, continuing the trail of kisses down her neck and shoulders.

"But I've gotten so big so quickly…I read somewhere that a big baby can mean that the mother has gestational diabetes and she can pass it on to the fetus".

"I told you – Stabler babies are big. Besides, we can ask the doctor if you're concerned about anything" Elliot groaned and pulled away from her. "And on that note, we're going to be late if we stand here any longer, come on hot mama".

She laughed and swatted at his shoulder before following him down the stairs and wrapping her winter coat tightly around her, seeing as the zipper on that wasn't being overly co-operative either.

"Wait" he continued, "babies? As in plural? As in twins?" his voice got progressively higher with each question.

"Wh –why didn't we find out at her first appointment? She's almost 3 months pregnant!"

"This often happens in multiple births, it's why I said this one's a she. One fetus is hidden by the other so the ultrasound and heartbeat monitor only picks up one of the babies"

"Babies?" Olivia repeated to herself, still stuck on that one rather important point.

"They're okay?" she choked out, her fears for her children surpassing her fear for herself.

The doctor pressed the probe in deeply at the very top of Olivia's belly. After a long moment, the tiny pixelated granules seemed to come together in their vision to form a baby.

Now that the ultrasound probe was in the right place, they could hear a second fluttering heartbeat.

The doctor seemed pleased, "there, just as strong as the first heartbeat and even measuring a little bigger than his sister".

Now it was Elliot's turn to repeat in a daze, "his? It's a boy?" "Yup, the clinic finally got a 3-D ultrasound machine which lets up pick up the gender even sooner than the average 16 or 20 week mark. You are expecting a girl and a boy – both who appear to be perfectly healthy and growing on schedule".

"This would explain why I showed so early and have gotten so big so fast" Olivia wondered aloud.

"It does say on your hospital release form 'PM?' which means possible multiples, I assumed someone had spoken to you about the possibility of an undetected twin. Even with today's technology, ultrasound is hardly a perfect science".

She continued her examination, leaving Elliot and Olivia to their thoughts – which for the most part were mainly "!"

She stopped her spiel, looking at the bewildered pair in front of her, "I'm sure it must be a shock, finding out this way. But they're healthy, this happens more often than you would think" she reassured them.

"I've had couples find out at every stage of pregnancy that they're unexpectedly expecting multiples. As shocking as it might be, it's perfectly normal. It's not uncommon even for a low-risk mother, who has had minimal testing; to find out she's having twins the moment she's delivering them. You can google it" she finished with a smile.

But Olivia just stared at the screen, trying to take in the fact that at that very moment she had two babies inside of her, two fragile little lives who would depend on her for everything.

She'd never been so terrified or so elated in her life.

**R E V I E W! If you do, maybe it will be like when you clap for believing in fairies and Elliot will return to SVU! **


	6. Chapter 6: Sorry

**Hey everybody! Sorry for the late update. Woke up yesterday and my face had swollen up and my mouth was KILLING me. Turns out I had an abscessed tooth and needed an emergency root canal - so most of this has been written on pain medication! Anyway, hope you enjoy. Just some more fluff really - didn't feel like writing about more pain when I was already in so much! But isn't fluff wonderful? They are so perfect for each other...which is WHY, Mr. Dick Wolf and Neal Baer and whoever else is writing that YOU SURE AS HELL BETTER OUT MELONI BACK IN FOR SEASON 14 - you've left a perfect opening for his return! So I have to believe for my own sanity that you're going to use it! **

**Anyway, 10 comments until I consider putting up (okay, writing :P) the next chapter. Send me some love! I'm going to be at the Word on the Street festival at Queen's Park tomorrow in Toronto, so msg me if any of you Canadians reading this are going to be there or are feeling some Ontario/Toronto pride!**

**Don't forget to review review review!**

The doctor left the room to get a blood pressure cuff as well as a needle for drawing blood and Olivia busied herself wiping the gel off her abdomen.

"Twins…" Elliot muttered faintly over and over again as they waited for the doctor's return. "Liv – I'm so sorry".

She frowned, twisting around to face him – her hands covering her belly protectively as her brow furrowed in confusion. "Elliot, why would you ever be sorry about this? Is the thought of having two babies really so horrible to you?"

"No, God no Liv…you're giving me the most precious gift - gifts. It's just that it's going to be so much harder on you. The last thing I want to do is scare you – but I'm scared for you. This is your first pregnancy, you are medically considered an older maternal age and our jobs aren't exactly low stress. I just need to know that I can keep you safe".

Olivia reached out to stroke his face as he held her other hand in his. "And we're okay. You heard the doctor, everything looks great. The babies are healthy and so am I."

Elliot brought her closer to him as he perched on the side of the exam table and kissed her deeply; "I just can't bear the thought of anything happening to you Liv…especially if it's something I could have prevented. I can't lose you, and I'll admit that scares me more than a little bit".

He rubbed his eyes like he had a headache; " Other than my kids I have never loved somebody as much as I love you – that feeling hasn't gone away in the year we've been married…it's only gotten stronger".

"I love you too" Olivia answered, bringing his arms around her so that they lay clasped over hers over their babies nestled deeply in her womb.

"And you know I'll do everything I can to keep these babies safe and healthy…They're my miracle babies" she laughed tearfully and Elliot thought he'd never been so in love with her.

"Did you want to go tell everyone at the station?" Elliot asked as he helped her put on her coat. "Then we can go for lunch".

"Mmm can we get Chinese?"

"What the pregnant lady wants, the pregnant lady gets…especially my pregnant lady".

"God, I love it when you get possessive"

Elliot gasped in mock surprise as they walked out to the car, "did I just hear Olivia Benson – independent career woman admit that she likes belonging to someone?"

"Olivia Benson-STABLER" she corrected as Elliot opened the car door for her.

"And I thank God every day for that" he finished seriously as he turned the key in the ignition.

"Elliot, I promise you – I am not a fragile piece of porcelain, or an invalid. I'm just pregnant, and getting heftier by the day" Olivia's annoyed voice floated through the hallway of the stationhouse leading to the SVU squad room.

"I think I hear our favourite blissfully married detectives" Munch teased wryly as they entered the room.

Fin threw a ball of paper at his ex-partner's head; "what's up babygirl? How you feeling?"

"Pretty good, we had our ultrasound this morning" her grin grew wider and Elliot squeezed her hand.

"Cragen, you want to get out here for a second?" Elliot called into the captain's office, and after a moment the older man appeared, the police commissioner following him out of his office and leaving.

"What's up guys?" Cragen asked, leaning against one of the desks.

"Nuh-uh, FIRST you tell us why 1PP's snooping around here" Elliot insisted, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows as he questioned Cragen.

"1PP wants you to keep going undercover, at least partially to all the places the other couples and pregnant women went to see if we can smoke this guy out. He knows your identities but we still have no clues about his. I told him it's completely up to you, whatever you feel is safest for you and the baby is what we're going to do no matter what, no questions asked".

Olivia nodded thoughtfully, taking a seat at her desk and leaning back in the office chair.

"Should be fine, everything's basically in a public place – and we have security in the building as well as a doorman who's still kicking himself for letting that delivery up. Besides, I'm going stir crazy sitting at home…it'll be good to get back to work" Olivia mused before looking up at Elliot.

"So should we put them out of their misery?" she asked impishly, "or should we let them hold onto their money a while longer?"

"Oh come on, tell us who won the bet. My money's still on a boy, John's guess was on a little girl" Fin leaned closer.

Olivia grinned, leaning back and resting her hands on her protruding belly; "Fin was right"

"Ooh yeah, can't play a player. Get your wallet out Munch it's payback time"

"A-a-and" Elliot drew out his next sentence and looked at Munch, "John was right as well".

For two decorated detectives, Munch and Fin sat there stupidly for a moment, not comprehending what they were hearing. "So is it a girl or a boy?"

"It's both" Olivia laughed at their horrified expressions, "I'm having twins can you believe it? A boy and a girl".

"What?" Cragen got up from the desk and came over to Olivia putting his hands on her shoulders and looking her in the eyes. "Are you really having two?"

She beamed, grinning stupidly and pulled out a copy of the ultrasound from her pocket and flashed it around. "Two completely healthy babies".

Elliot pulled her closer to him and kissed the top of her head before being clapped on the back and congratulated by Munch, Fin and Cragen.

"Damn Stabler, you got super sperm or something" Fin was still grinning when he stepped back.

"Ahem" Olivia cleared her throat, "I'm the one doing all the heavy lifting here, don't I get some congratulations?" she joked.

"Congrats Liv, you'll make a great mother" John kissed her on the cheek and she felt herself well up. "Thanks John" she smiled, eyes bright with tears before stepping back and laughing at herself.

"Oh God, I'm already a hormonal mess. I can't even imagine what it's going to be like in a few months" she joked, wiping her eyes.

"Well whatever happens, Liv, we're all here for you" Cragen said simply, squeezing her hand.

"Come on" Elliot held out his hand, helping her up, "gotta take care of my growing family, and right now I think that means lunch".

"Eurgh, growing is right" Olivia groaned slightly as she struggled to zip her coat. "I think we're going to need to go shopping for maternity clothes a little earlier than expected".

"I'm already measuring something like 20 weeks the doctor said" Olivia mumbled with her mouth full as they sat on the couch in front of the tv.

"And that wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you polished off the entire carton of mu-shu pork?" Elliot teased gently as she slurped up the last noodle and looked up at him guiltily. "Guess we should have ordered the dinner for four".

"Be nice" Olivia hit him playfully on the shoulder before laying her head in his lap.

As they watched tv that evening Olivia was so quiet Elliot thought she'd fallen asleep, but when he shifted slightly she moaned.

"Liv – baby what is it?" he propped her up against his shoulder, "Mmm, it's nothing, my stomach's just upset. Just indigestion" she swallowed and winced, pressing her hand to her belly and rubbing in small circles.

"C'mere" Elliot shifted her so that she was partially sitting in his lap, her head resting on his shoulder and his hand replaced hers rubbing her stomach in slow rhythmic circles.

She closed her eyes, sighing softly at the feel of Elliot's hand against her skin. "Come on, let's get you into your pajamas and into bed".

He stood, keeping Olivia in his arms as he did. "You don't have to carry me" she murmured against his shoulder as she fought against the rising nausea.

"I have to do whatever I can to take away your pain" he smoothed back her hair and helped her undress as she sat on the edge of the bed.

When she'd stripped down to her bra and underwear her hand flew to her mouth and her eyes flew open.

"Mmmgmph" she got to her feet unsteadily and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

Elliot could hear her miserable retching from the other side, and he rested his head against the door as he knocked gently before entering.

She was sure she looked horrible, pale and sweaty and shivering. Hair damp and clinging limply to her face as she hung her head over the toilet and gave over the contents of her stomach into the porcelain bowl.

She whimpered again, more out of embarrassment than out of pain this time as Elliot knelt beside her, gathering her hair to one side and keeping a steadying hand at the small of her back.

"I'm sorry, I tried to keep it down…for the babies" she murmured as Elliot picked her up again, carrying her back out to the bedroom and tucking her beneath the covers.

"Oh Liv, don't be sorry. I know you're not feeling good…it's not your fault you're sick – it's all the hormones from the pregnancy that have your system out of whack".

"But the doctor said I needed to start gaining more weight" she protested weakly as Elliot came back into the room with a hot water bottle.

He lay behind her, spoon style and she accepted the heating pad, pressing it to her lower belly so the heat penetrated through the aching muscles there as Elliot's capable hands worked the tension out of her back.

"I guess I'm just not a very good pregnant woman" she tried to joke and Elliot's hand stopped their work.

"Hey" she opened her eyes, wriggling so he'd continue.

"Don't you ever say you're not good enough Olivia Benson-Stabler" he swore fiercely, turning her to face him and replacing her hand where it held the water bottle in place.

"I just don't know how to be a good mom. They're not even here yet and already I don't know how to give my babies what they need".

"Hey, hey – enough of this doubting stuff. You're doing exactly what your body is telling you you need to do, and that's all you can do. You're making sure you're eating enough, even if it doesn't stay down so you know you're providing enough nourishment for the babies. You're taking your prenatal vitamins and going to the doctor. And you're resting now when you need to. You're doing exactly what your babies need you to do, and doing your best at it".

"Thank you" she whispered, and then laughed sadly. "I've never been so unsure of myself, or my body…I'm scared…I don't want to hurt my babies because of my ignorance or incapability to keep them healthy".

"It's not something you need to do on your own Liv…we're married now. We're together. You can depend on me for anything and it doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're strong enough and smart enough to admit when you need help".

Olivia didn't answer, just snuggled further into his chest so that her head rested underneath his chin. "Get some rest now and we'll see if you feel any better tomorrow. The doctor can always prescribe an anti-nausea medication if it gets too bad. Just try and rest".

But Olivia had already fallen asleep.

Instead of falling asleep immediately as well Elliot watched her for awhile. He wished he could erase te dark circles and bags under her eyes, wished he could make her feel better – and not be so violently ill all the time. It was debilitating and it was draining her whether she wanted to admit it or not.

But all he could do was hold her and their babies in his arms. And he was never letting go.

**Don't forget to review review review review review review review review review review! **That's 10 reviews FYI :) ****


	7. Chapter 7: Holding Tight

**Ok I need to get off my 'figurative' mental ass and start writing more plot, but I'm just so unmotivated! Pleeeease motivate me guys! It's funny, I feel like some people like this story better than Love and Order but I'm having a much harder time writing this one! Sigh – so make me wanna write! Or else there might be no next chapter...**

The next morning Olivia woke blessedly free of nausea, and gave a sigh of contentment when she realized it was the weekend and she could spend all day in bed if she wanted; right where she was in Elliot's arms.

Elliot stirred beside her, the hand he'd draped over her in the night pulling her closer and rubbing his fingertips in small circles around the outermost swelling of her tummy around her navel.

"Good morning mama" he murmured, propping himself up on one shoulder so he could kiss her good morning.

"Mmm, good morning daddy" she grinned lazily and lay back on the pillows, just staring at her husband and wondering how she ever got so lucky as he bent over her swollen waist and pressed his lips to one side of her growing tummy and then the other.

"And good morning my angels" Elliot continued the trail of whisper light kisses up her body until their lips met again.

"This is everything I ever wanted, everything I prayed for; to be lying here, in your arms, swollen with our baby – or babies as it is".

"Elliot?" Olivia's voice floated uncertainly out of the change room. "Why do they think I'm going to get this big?" She stepped out of the dressing room holding out a pair of pants by the waistband disbelievingly.

"And what is with all this bondage and elastic in the front of this thing? Hell if I go into labour wearing it the babies will just boomerang back up into me!".

Elliot couldn't help but laugh at the incredulous expression on his wife's face as she eyed the offending garment reproachfully. "It's because you'll be carrying so much extra weight in front in your belly – it's for support" he explained choking back a laugh.

"Uh huh…" she didn't look convinced as they walked into the next store. But she perked up considerably when they got to the maternity denim section.

"Yes, oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" she growled eagerly in satisfaction as she gathered up pair after pain in her arms which Elliot then removed.

"Liv, you're not supposed to be carrying anything heavy" he reprimanded her as he dumped the pile down in the change room where Olivia started to strip immediately, barely giving him enough time to lock the doors with both of them still in there.

"Ah Liv…" Elliot stepped closer, inspecting the angry red marks and indentations where her old jeans had dug into her skin and left their imprint. His fingers traced lightly over the marks as if he could erase them with his hands.

"Baby why didn't you say anything? I knew you'd been wearing your pants unbuttoned for awhile but I didn't know they were hurting you".

Olivia shrugged as she pulled on a new pair of jeans, fairly cooing in delight as she adjusted the elastic waistband around her burgeoning belly.

"I was already stealing your sweatpants to wear. Besides – this is the first time in weeks I've felt well enough to leave the house for something other than work…There!"

She turned to the side, eyeing her profile doubtfully in the 180 degree dressing room mirror.

"Beautiful" Elliot stepped between Olivia and her reflection, hooking his thumbs in the belt loops of her stretch panel jeans and pulling her closer so he could kiss her.

"Excuse me!" a harried sounding voice called out from the other side of the door at the same time as a sharp rap sounded. "Only one person allowed in the change room at one time!"

Elliot buried his face in Olivia's shoulder trying not to laugh as she called back out.

"I'll be right out!" but the sincerity of Olivia's statement was compromised slightly at the breathy gasp that followed her statement as Elliot's mouth and tongue wandered down her shoulder, dipping into the cleft of her bra.

Elliot snorted as Olivia came down the stairs that night dressed in his sweatpants again. "So $400 dollars later and my sweatpants still won out?" he teased as she came into the room.

She'd pushed the waistband of the sweats down so that they sat on her hips, just below the pooch of her belly which her sweater didn't quite manage to cover.

"Give me a break - they're comfortable" she shot back; "besides, you're the one who got me this way…knocked up, over 40 with twins". She grinned as she curled into him on the couch, her smile giving away the fact that she wasn't complaining.

"It better not have been anyone else who got you this way" he growled affectionately as she reached for the remote.

"Now what does my wife and the mother of my soon to be children feel like eating?" he raised a questioning eyebrow as he reached for the phone and the well worn list of takeout food places from the side table.

Given her eating habits before and during the pregnancy it could be anything from pizza to hotdogs with horseradish. She wrinkled her nose and buried herself further into him.

"I'm not really hungry, but you go ahead and order whatever you want".

"You not feeling well again?"

"We both know whatever I eat is just going to come back up again".

"But you still need to eat Liv" he groaned, unburying her face from his shoulder so he could look her in the eyes.

"You can't live on prenatal vitamins and tea for the next 5 months. You know the doctor said you needed to be gaining weight and you need to keep yourself strong for the babies".

Olivia bit her lip guiltily and Elliot mentally berated himself for scolding her. "What can I get you baby? Just tell me and I'll run out and get it for you".

"Just maybe some toast" came the soft reply from the couch as Elliot headed towards the kitchen.

The show they'd been watching had just ended and Olivia was flipping idly through channels when Elliot came back into the room with a tray.

"I ask for toast and you bring me the whole continental breakfast? El you didn't have to do all that" she joked as Elliot sat the breakfast tray down on the coffee table.

"So there's toast, some fresh cut up fruit and some yogurt. Just eat what you want and feel like is not going to upset your stomach – oh and your tea of course" he handed the steaming mug of liquid over to Olivia to clasped it between her hands savouring the warmth.

"Why are you drinking this stuff by the gallon again?" Elliot asked as Olivia settled back against his chest.

"Mmm, it's raspberry leaf tea. Casey said it's supposed to help strengthen your uterus for labour – make the contractions less painful".

Elliot watched as she tried a few spoonfuls of yogurt before setting the bowl back down on the tray.

He frowned, "I thought Dr. Katz said something about a planned caesarean birth".

Olivia wrinkled her nose again; "I really do not relish the thought of someone cutting into me, or cutting so close to my babies. Delivering naturally is better for the babies and has a faster recovery time for me. Besides, didn't Kathy deliver Lizzie and Dickie – or 'Rick' I should say now – naturally?"

"Yes" he admitted "but Kathy was…" Olivia cut him off before he could finish his sentence.

"Don't you dare say younger and stronger Elliot! I might not be a young mother but I do plan on giving my babies the best start I can – and for them that means giving birth naturally, without drugs if I can. Although I can't promise you anything on that one until I know what kind of pain I'm dealing with" she quipped after a moment.

Elliot leaned over her, but instead of saying anything he merely bent his head over her waist – carefully pushing up her top so that her bare bump was exposed.

She shivered slightly as she felt Elliot's lips brush against the distending bulge of her abdomen, whispering against her belly. "You guys are so lucky to have this woman as your mom. I can't think of anyone who is going to love you more, or do more for you".

Olivia felt her eyes well up with tears and her throat close as she looked down at the tall proud figure of her cop husband whispering and talking to her belly with heart-aching tenderness.

She rested a hand on the back of his head, keeping his head in her ever-decreasing lap; "you know if you want me to eat, you can't make me cry" she choked out, her voice caught between laughter and tears.

Elliot sat back up, but his hand didn't move from where it lay on Olivia's stomach.

And surprisingly, amazingly, what she ate stayed down the entire night. And she couldn't help but feel it was all because she was held safe in Elliot's arms.

**REVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWW! Just in case you forgot that's what I wanted you to do ;)**


	8. Chapter 8: Broken Home

**Umm, what happened guys? Only 4 reviews last chapter! Here's your second chance but it's your last one! Review please or no more chapters. I hate to threaten but reviews are the only thing that motivates me to keep formatting and uploading. So 10 reviews as usual before the next chapter goes up!**

The next two weeks passed by without incident; Olivia managed to keep down enough food to avoid the Phenergan shots and the Cradle Robber hadn't struck again – although it was only a matter of time before both of those things changed.

The only thing that had changed drastically was the circumference of Olivia's waist. If it hadn't been obvious she was pregnant before, it certainly was now that she was heading into her 17th week of pregnancy.

"Whoah, mama be careful – it's slick out there" Fin caught Olivia by the arm as she walked into the precinct one morning.

"Eurgh, it doesn't help that this is the coldest February on record in 50 years in the tri-state area" Olivia bemoaned as she shrugged her coat off.

"It would have been a lot cheaper if I was pregnant in the summer, then I could just walk around in hardly anything".

"I don't mind if you do that" Elliot came up behind her from where she sat at her desk and started kneading her shoulders.

She batted at him half heartedly; "Oh shut up. You'll just be sorry when I'm swollen up like a big water retaining balloon or watermelon by the time June rolls around".

"You're still not due until August Liv" Munch reminded her gently.

"Don't remind me" she moaned, only half jokingly as she placed a hand on her belly. "You would not believe how many people come up to me and ask when I'm due; supermarkets, the mall, anywhere!"

The sound of a telephone and Cragen's voice interrupted their conversation, and all four of their heads swivelled around to see what the latest emergency was.

"Domestic dispute called in from the 1-7 precinct, I want you guys out there now. Olivia you just need to get the kids back to the precinct once we've removed them from the house. Oh, and bulletproofs on everybody" Don called out as he grabbed his coat and Kevlar vest out of his office.

They pulled up to the plain looking brownstone and Elliot killed the engine. Stay here Liv, just get ready to grab the kids when I send them out.

"Elliot, where the hell are the cops from the 1-7? This is supposed to be their showdown, we're just here as backup."

"Accident on the bridge, they're ETA is about 20 minutes" Fin called grimly from the other sedan that had pulled up beside theirs.

"We can't wait that long" Elliot's mouth was set grimly.

All of a sudden the breaking of glass could be heard from the inside of the house and angry voices could be heard coming out of the newly broken window.

"Elliot, we gotta go. Come on, I'm not trying to be a hero – I'll go round the back in case he decides to try and run, you and Munch and Fin take the front. I have my gun I'll be fine" Olivia insisted, readjusting the gunholster attached to her belt and heading around the side of the building, disappearing into the blowing snow that had started in the last hour.

While the other detectives got into formation to break down the door, Olivia crept around to the back of the brownstone, ducking into the alley with her head low to avoid being seen through any windows.

Elliot tried the doorknob and found it to be unlocked. The door swung easily open and the three men moved into the house, going back further into it to where the yells and shouts were coming from.

But as they got closer, what they had thought was the situation was actually something entirely different.

"Alice, Alice I need you to calm down. You're scaring the kids" a middle aged man edged closer to the counter, holding out his hands in supplication as he faced his irate wife – who was staggering alarmingly and holding what looked like a mostly empty bottle of vodka in her hand which had broken, leaving the jagged edges exposed.

The cut glass would explain the nasty looking gash on the man's face but none of the detectives got a closer as the women swung again, this time in the direction of the doorway as she realized they had company.

"You" she slurred, pointing at Elliot, "you stay back – and you two" she gestured flailingly at Munch and Fin.

"Go find the kids, then get them and Olivia back to the precinct" Elliot ordered the other two men under his breath as he moved closer, weapon drawn.

"Ma'am, put the bottle down – we can talk about this".

"Alice this is the booze talking, come on babe we can get you help" the woman's husband pleaded from the other side of the kitchen.

Elliot could hear Fin and Munch trying to find the kids upstairs. It didn't sound like they were having any luck.

Olivia stood stock-still against the bricks – she could hear the conversation coming from inside and it sounded like it was escalating.

Suddenly she heard a rustling from behind the row of garbage cans.

"Freeze, nobody move!" she inched closer to the garbage bin and kicked it away with her foot.

Three small children were crouched behind it, tear tracks running down their dirt streaked faces. She quickly put her gun back in its holster and approached them, crouching down to her level.

"Hey guys, my name's Olivia. Aren't you cold sitting out here?"

They had to be, she thought to herself. The temperature was below freezing and not one of them had a coat or scarf – it looked as though they'd run out here to hide at the first sign of trouble. The wary expressions on their faces told Olivia that this wasn't the first time they'd had to do this either.

"This is Danny, I'm Amanda and this is Carlie" the older girl who looked to be around 7 or 8 pointed to her brother and then to the toddler in her arms.

"Hi Amanda, we're going to take you guys back to the police station okay?"

"What did we do wrong?"

"Nothing sweetie, nothing at all. We're just going to get you some clean clothes and some snacks while your mommy and daddy finish talking. You didn't do anything wrong sweetheart".

Olivia held her hand out and the tiny waiflike little blonde girl took it as Olivia helped her out of the cramped space.

Olivia shrugged out of her coat, wrapping it around the children once she'd gotten them into the squad car.

"You sit tight here okay? I'll be right back".

The children just stared back at her, eyes wide like they were expecting to be punished for moving or speaking.

It broke Olivia's heart…she knew what it was like to always wonder what you were doing wrong. Why you deserved to be punished for something you didn't do, or weren't responsible for. Her own mother's alcoholism had made sure of that.

"I think there are some fortune cookies left in the glove box if you're hungry. Olivia winked at the little boy whose eyes had lit up when she mentioned food. "You probably haven't had lunch yet".

"Just dinner last night" Amanda offered shyly. "You're having a baby" she stated simply, looking at Olivia's belly now that she didn't have her coat on.

"My mom's tummy got big too when she was having Carlie. She got angry then too…" the little girl's eyes dimmed as Olivia's filled with tears. That meant their mother had drank when she was pregnant with them – but by the grace of God all three looked to be fairly healthy and normal if not a little skinny.

"Why does she drink that stuff if it makes her so angry?" big brown eyes looked up at Olivia for an answer, but she didn't have one for her.

"I don't know sweetie" Olivia's voice cracked as she smoothed aside the blonde strands of hair that had fallen in the little girl's eyes when she'd talked about her mother's drinking.

"I'll be back in a minute - guys, okay? Sit tight" Olivia shut the car door and hurried back over to the house, hunched over against the wind and the cold.

"Dammit" she swore as she realized she'd left the radio back in the car. She had to let Elliot know she had the kids before she could get them back to the station house. But she wasn't about to risk her babies' lives by walking in on a possibly violent confrontation.

As she walked back to the car in the howling winds she thought about the woman inside the house; anger rising up in her like the her mother's balled fists when she was in one of her drunken rages.

The beating hadn't happened often, her mother usually just locked herself in her room or left for hours, sometimes days at a time – but they'd happened.

And although she had no physical reminders, there were still the scars left on her soul that made her ache for these three children; caught up in a mess that wasn't their fault, but still left to deal with the fallout of their mother's addiction.

Caught up in her thoughts, Olivia didn't see the slick patch of ice by the row of garbage cans. And hurrying towards the car, she stepped out onto the pavement in the alley and lost her footing on the ice.

As she fell she grabbed for something to hold on to so she could break her fall, but there was nothing – and her hands flailed helplessly out from her as she landed hard, on the pavement, her ankle twisting under her.

It all happened so quickly she didn't even have time to turn as she fell forwards, her side catching most of the blow. She couldn't breathe.

The impact snapped her head back so that it smacked against the pavement and everything went dark.

**Don't forget! 10 reviews!**


	9. Chapter 9: Lock, Stock and Handcuffs

**Hello my stunningly beautiful amazing wonderful readers, fans and flat out fab people!**

** I hope you all caught the newest episode of SVU last night - don't want to spoil it for you but it's SOOO hard not to! All I will say is that I can't believe Cragen was being such a jerk! He's such a sweetheart normally - oh well, I guess El's leaving has been tough on everybody. Esp. Liv! **

**Anyway, feel free to msg me if you want to rant - I am MORE than willing to sit there and agree with you about how unfair the whole situation is!**

**So - ten reviews till next update! Always want to know what you think!**

It took Elliot and Fin another ten minutes to calm Alice Hastings down. Munch had gotten the husband out the kitchen and El could only assume Liv had left with the kids – Fin had said he had seen her put them in the car, but it wasn't like Liv not to radio in with official confirmation.

Elliot dragged the resisting drunk out of the house and into the third squad car that had shown up that was going to take her to Bellevue for a 72 hour hold.

As he watched the car drive off on the icy streets, he noticed Olivia's car still parked on the street. Had she not found the kids?

He thought he could count what looked like 3 small huddled figures in the backseat wrapped in what looked like Olivia's new winter maternity coat they had bought only last week, but he couldn't be sure.

And something about the situation was nagging him as he headed towards her car after handing off Ms. Hastings.

Cold…why was she so cold? Olivia tried to open her eyes but as she did a sharp pain exploded behind her eyes, setting her ears ringing and her head spinning, and she quickly closed them again.

She shifted slightly on the cold hard cement ground, hoping to find something she could use to pull herself up, but as she did, she became aware of a warm wetness seep between her legs. She was bleeding.

She didn't need to open her eyes to know what was happening, or what colour she would see staining the snow.

"Help – somebody" she tried to yell and bang against the metal cans with her hands so someone would hear her. But her voice was hoarse with fear and pain and it was whipped away by the howling winds – she was scared to move too much in case she started to bleed more heavily.

She called out one more time before the blackness took over again; consuming everything and leaving nothing but the cold black silence to swallow her whole.

Elliot could swear he heard his name being called out – but the sound was swallowed by the howling winds.

The children in the car had said Olivia had walked back around the house, but that she hadn't come back yet. And judging by the empty fortune cookie wrappers littering the backseat, she'd been gone longer than the 5 minutes it should have taken her to get back.

As Elliot went around the back of the house to the small alleyway at the side, he saw a familiar flash of brown hair just ahead – on the ground near the garbage cans.

He started to run; "Olivia!"

The icy wet flakes of snow bit against his skin and clouded his vision, but as he got closer there was no mistaking the limp sprawled body that came into view in a still, scarily silent heap.

He dropped to his knees, the cold cement tearing through the fabric of his jeans. "I got an officer down, Lydon and fourteenth. She's seventeen weeks pregnant with twins. I need a bus here now" he roared into the radio.

He took off his coat and lay it over her, removing his scarf and mittens as well and put them on her hands and underneath her head, which he realized with horror was matted with a dark sticky viscous substance, that he knew would show up as red were it not for his black gloves.

A sinister trickle of blood ran down from a nasty gash on her forehead, marking the white ground with hurt.

He didn't want to move her in case she had any back or neck injuries, but it took every ounce of his strength and self control not to gather her into his arms.

"It's gonna be okay Liv" he whispered fiercely as he smoothed her hair back from her face; "everything's gonna be okay"; adding silently "it has to be".

Finally, after what seemed like hours but was probably only twenty minutes or so he could hear the approaching sirens of the paramedics.

As the medics lifted Olivia's body onto the stretcher Elliot's blood ran cold – and it wasn't just because of the stormy weather. There was a growing red stain beneath her – and it wasn't coming from her head.

"Come on baby, wake up for me. Open your eyes Liv, please, please" Elliot jogged alongside the stretcher and climbed into the ambulance after shouting for another officer on the scene to take the Hastings children to the precinct.

Olivia's eyes fluttered open, but everything was dark for a moment until her vision adjusted to the dark inside of the ambulance.

Elliot heard a whimper and looked down at Olivia whose eyes were opening.

"Babies" she whispered, turning anguished eyes to Elliot; "El I'm bleeding, please, tell them to save our babies – ooh!" her eyes squeezed shut as she stiffened, trying to curl up but unable to with the straps restraining her.

A pain shot through her lower abdomen, doubling her over breathless. She barely had time to catch her breath before another cramp ripped across her belly.

"Oh God, El…I'm so scared".

Elliot grabbed her hand in his, pressing it to his lips as he sat hunched over her in the tiny bench seat as the ambulance battled the icy streets through to the hospital.

He felt so helpless, so impotent watching his wife, his Olivia so terrified and in so much pain with nothing he could do to assuage her fears – because they were his own.

Elliot stayed crouched awkwardly over her head as the paramedics worked furiously to put in an IV. He gently swept her hair out of the foam neck brace they put around her neck in case she had a concussion, and brushed away her tears that ran down her cheeks as she sobbed out.

"Elliot" Olivia choked out, eyes and nose running – hair disheveled with patches of drying blood. "Don't let them take my babies away from me; don't let them take my babies. Just save our babies" she pleaded growing hysterical.

"It's my fault, it's my fault – I can't lose them. They're too little to come out right now, Elliot, Elliot, you have to do something- oow" she cried out again, her hands fisted as they were held in the restraints.

Elliot had had enough, he undid the restraints. He couldn't bear to see Olivia forced to be immobile while she was in agony. She wouldn't do anything that would jeopardize the babies' health – she'd restrain herself if she thought she would or could do anything to hurt them.

One of the paramedics shot Elliot a dirty look, but they were pulling up to the hospital – so the point was moot to argue with him.

Moving with her as she was carried into the hospital, Elliot never let go of her hand and never moved his gaze from hers as she looked up at him fearfully as the doctors crowded around her, suggesting different courses of action.

"Sir we're going to have to ask you to leave" one of the nurses tried to guide him to the swinging doors by the arm, but he heard Olivia calling for him and he wrenched his arm away.

"Like hell, I'm not leaving her like this".

"Sir, we'll be able to help your wife more if you just stay in the waiting room"

Elliot closed his eyes briefly, trying to think of a good reason not to charge the infuriating woman with something just so she would leave him the hell alone and look after Olivia. This was taking too much fucking time, time they didn't necessarily have to waste.

He went over to Olivia, who looked so small and fragile on the large gurney. Her lips trembled as she tried to stop her tears, listening to the doctor's brusque warning that she had to calm down or else her blood pressure would affect the babies.

"Don't you dare threaten her – I don't care if you are the surgeon to the fucking president you treat this woman like she is gold – and with respect. Got it? If I so much as hear you bullying her or scaring her I will have your license" Elliot growled into the man's face quietly, not wanting Olivia to hear him.

"Olivia, I'm going to be right outside. I love you no matter what, do you understand me? None of this is your fault, if it's anyone's fault it's mine. I should have insisted you stay back at the precinct.

Olivia shook her head sadly; "it wouldn't have helped Elliot, maybe my body's just telling me I wasn't cut out to be a mother".

"Don't think that Liv. Think of holding our babies in your arms – think of me holding you. I love you so much".

The doctor in charge nodded brusquely at Elliot before pushing her gurney through the doors marked 'medical personnel only'.

Eyes blurring, Elliot turned on his heel and ran - and didn't stop running until he was out of the hospital, outside of the emergency doors.

Then he broke down. Elliot Stabler didn't cry, but at that moment he rested his head back against the brick wall of the exterior and sobbed. Great, gasping sobs that tore out of his chest without any control. God, what would he do if he lost Olivia? He'd gotten a look at the electronic monitoring chart the doctor had set up on her before he had left and it hadn't looked good.

Her blood pressure was through the roof and her pulse was thready and weak. He could tell she was in shock, the way she was shaking and trembling told him enough to know that much.

It would destroy her if something happened to the babies. She beat herself up enough when she couldn't save a victim, but knowing she hadn't been able to save her children, even if it wasn't her fault, would break her.

Not a lot could break the unfazable Olivia Benson, but miscarrying the babies she had prayed for for so long would. And Elliot would do anything to keep the light from going out in her eyes.

She was his life; his heart didn't belong to him anymore. Hell, it had never been his to give. Ever since he'd laid eyes on her, Olivia Benson had owned him, owned his heart; lock, stock and handcuff.

Finally, Elliot realized he needed to go back inside, even if it meant others seeing the frozen tear tracks on his face so Olivia's doctors could find him – because there would be hell to pay if they waited even a second more than was necessary to give him news on Olivia and their unborn children.

Instead of sitting in the waiting room, Elliot found himself wandering into the hospital chapel – knowing they could page him on the loudspeaker inside if necessary, and kneeling down at the front of the small church on the hard wooden floor.

He crossed himself as he rested his elbows on the rail, face buried in his hands as he prayed; pleading with God to please - just let Olivia be okay.

"God; she has to be okay. You can't take her from me, please. God I will do anything if you spare their lives, please, I'll do anything" he swore, his voice catching and breaking with the raw emotion that far out-spilled his veins and now ran down his face.

He had seen too many tiny coffins, seen too many lives ended so cruelly short. His kids were mostly grown up now, Eli staying with Kathy; and Elliot getting him every other weekend.

But now there were two more tiny lives in his possession – two tiny precious lives that depended on him to keep them safe. And he would do it. He would do anything to keep them safe.

He spent the next two hours there, on his knees praying, offering anything that when the priest gently touched his shoulder he nearly jumped out of his skin.

The kindly looking older man nodded towards the chapel doors where outside there was a doctor waiting.

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me – Psalm 23:4".

"Thank you father" Elliot got to his feet and shook the man's hand before going to meet the doctor at the doors.

"How is she?" the words were out of Elliot's mouth before they had walked two steps.

The man nodded grimly, as if choosing his words carefully. "You wife is alright – she's resting and we're still picking up two fetal heartbeats. But there's something else you need to know…"

**Haha. Sorry for the cliffhanger - just a little tactic I'm trying out. *smiles innocently and adorably***

** Anyways, there won't be an update tomorrow because after my lectures are over I'm going downtown to my best friend since I was 3's apartment and going to have a flat out fucking amazing time because we all work too hard and need to live a little bit. **

**ALSO! If any of you are on facebook, SUBSCRIBE to Joyful Heart's updates (Mariska's charity for victims of sexual abuse) and VOTE VOTE VOTE for them to receive a $2M grant from Chase giving. **

**Lots of love!**


	10. Chapter 10: Heavy Hearts

**Hey! Hope you're all enjoying the weekend. The weather is GLORIOUS here and we went to a local fair today, which is LOVE. Speaking of love and hearts. PLEASE if any of you have facebook and you haven't already done so, PLEASE follow the instructions below to lend your support to Mariska's charity, the Joyful Heart foundation and help them win a million dollar grant to go towards ending the backlog of untested rape kits and helping victims of sexual abuse. I don't normally plug anything on my stories, but this is SUCH a great cause. **

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"There's something you should know" the doctor continued.

"There's the possibility of a chromosomal defect in the fetuses. We ran some tests including an amniocentesis to determine the level of fetal distress and see if it warranted a sedative, despite the fact Ms. Benson's head injury makes sedation of any kind more risky than we'd like. Do you know of any family connection, her mother and father maybe who were carriers of any genetic abnormalities?

Elliot felt his world fall apart, his heart splinter and the floor fall out from under his feet all in the same moment as the doctor spoke.

"No" his voice came across cracking and hoarse so he tried again louder.

"No – I don't know. And neither does Olivia. There was nothing on her mother's side but…Olivia's mother was raped. Olivia is the product of that rape and until a few years ago she didn't know who he was. We think we may have an idea now but he's long since dead".

"Well if you can find any relatives, it would be a good idea to ask them for a medical history so we can rule out certain possibilities in favor of others in the meantime".

"What kind of chromosomal problems are we talking about?" Elliot asked, softly this time.

The doctor sighed, scratching the side of his head with his pen errantly, and Elliot had the sudden urge to snap it in half along with the neck of the man in front of him.

"The test results weren't conclusive, merely suggestive. Generally all chromosome tests are carried out after the twentieth week of pregnancy – but because of your wife's accident…We'll find out for sure when we repeat the tests at her 20 week ultrasound."

"But other than that…possibility. How are Olivia and the babies?

Elliot nodded, taking a deep breath as the doctor continued.

"Well you say she fell on the icy sidewalk. She's sprained her ankle and given herself a nasty bump on the back of the head – but there appears to be no concussion"

"So is that what caused the bleeding?"

"Falling may have started the bleeding yes. But it may have happened anyway – or she may have started to bleed earlier and just didn't notice until she fell and it became heavier. It's impossible to know why a woman starts to miscarry. But…" he held up a hand.

"The bleeding has slowed and we've given her some medication to stop the cramping and relax the uterine muscles. If she can go another 12 hours in hospital, and another 2 weeks without anymore cramping or bleeding episodes there should be no indication that she won't carry to term. If we can determine there are no chromosomal or other defects at the time of her 20 week ultrasound. But after she's released she'll need someone with her constantly for the next week while she'd on strict bedrest to make sure she doesn't haemorrhage".

Elliot didn't want to hear anymore. He needed to be with Olivia, to see her with his own eyes and wouldn't be able to breathe again until he did. But there was one more question that needed to be asked:

"Does she know any of this?"

"No" came the doctor's reply. "We sedated her when she came in. She's coming out of it now though".

"You don't do anything or put anything in my wife that I don't know about or that she has not consented to herself or awake to accept. You do and I'll have your license, got it?" Elliot growled.

Looking unimpressed, the doctor just raised an eyebrow and walked away down the hall.

Elliot felt every one of his 46 years and more as he waited for Olivia to wake up so he could give her the news himself. He wished he could lie, so she wouldn't worry or hurt…but he couldn't. Not to Liv, not about this.

But she looked so peaceful now in sleep that he hated to be the one to cause hurt to fill those deep brown eyes, turning them to wells of sorrow.

Elliot pulled the tiny two seater couch over to Olivia's bedside, taking her hand in his that wasn't blocked with the fingerclip monitor and pressing it to his lips.

She was so pale and still, her face still bore traces of blood from the hellish ordeal she'd just been through – and was still going through; and her foot and ankle were bound too he noticed.

You could barely make out the bulge of her stomach under the sheets even with the voluminous monitors strapped around her to monitor the babies' vitals.

"I'm so sorry Liv" a tear rolled down his cheek and he bowed his head. But then he felt something brush his cheek and he looked up again to see Olivia weakly raise her hand and wipe away the tear that had fallen.

"Elliot" she croaked out hoarsely, "I lost them didn't". Her chin trembled and tears began to fall thick and fast down her own cheeks.

"No, baby no…" Elliot soothed her, sitting down gingerly on the edge of the bed.

"S-so are they still i-inside me?" she hiccupped looking down fearfully, hovering her hands over her belly, cradling it.

"Yes" he paused for a moment. "They're perfect" he added a touch too fiercely. He believed it too, he didn't care how these babies would be different they would be his and Olivia's and that's all that mattered. All that would ever matter so long as they were happy and healthy. How was he going to tell her there was a chance their children would be disabled at birth – and that they wouldn't even know fore sure if or how badly until her 20 week ultrasound. He couldn't, he just could not hurt her like that.

"El what aren't you telling me?" Olivia questioned him. He sighed, "even in drugs you don't miss a thing do you?"

"Nope" she shook her head and then regretted it as the pain and dizziness curdled her stomach. She moaned softly, and seeing the expression on her face Elliot reached for the emesis basin just in time for her to be violently ill.

When she'd finished, he wiped her face tenderly with a cold cloth and helped her settle back onto the pillows.

But instead of letting go she clung to him. "El…I – I just need you to hold me" she asked in a small voice, her face buried in his shoulder as she muffled another soft sob.

"I've never been so scared…I was so scared".

Elliot rocked her gently in his arms, waiting until she stopped trembling to speak.

"Liv – there's something I need to tell you. Something you need to know. I would shelter from it if I could, there's not one thing I wouldn't give, but…" his voice trailed off as he bent his head trying to collect himself enough to speak.

"El, El what is it?"

Olivia watched in horror as her husband appeared to age in front of her, his voice hoarse and his face grey with the painful apprehension of the moment.

"Olivia, when they ran tests – when you came in, one of the tests came back suggesting the possibility that the babies might…have…a genetic defect".

He watched her carefully for her reaction "L-like what? What kind of defect?"

"They don't know baby. They'll only be sure at your 20 week ultrasound".

"B-but that's more than two weeks away!" Olivia protested before her face crumbled as the weight of the news seemed to fall on her suddenly.

"Oh God, Elliot – what have I done? What have I done to my babies?" she looked at the monitor and then back at Elliot, leaning into him as she shuddered with sudden sobs.

Elliot gathered her even tighter in his arms, scooching down slightly on the bed so she was mostly lying down but still held in his arms. "Nothing. There's nothing you could have done differently Liv. This isn't your fault".

"Y –yes it is" she wailed. "I could have not had children; I don't know what genes I'm passing on to them. Look at my father! I don't know anything about him really. There's a part of my babies that I will never have all the answers for just like I've never had for myself. A quarter of them is from him".

"We've gone over this Olivia. You are not your father. And neither are these babies. They have a mom and a dad, who would do anything for them, and they were conceived in absolute love and we'll love these babies however they come".

"I love them so much" Olivia sobbed, unable to stop.

"Shhh, I know you do Liv".

"I just don't want them to hurt. I want to give them the best start I can – and I've already damaged them before they're even out of my belly. And I hate myself because I know I won't be able to give them that and and what if the doctors say the best thing for them is to abort. God wouldn't be so cruel, what are we going to do?"

"We don't even know for sure if there's anything wrong yet. We just have to pray. But whatever happens Liv…I'm not leaving you and I'm not leaving them". His hand found the soft swell of her belly and she pressed closer to him. "I love you so much".

"I love you too" she whispered shakily as Elliot stroked her hair back, careful to avoid the bandage covering the cut on the back of her head.

"And I love our babies, so much" her words slurred as exhaustion and the after effects of the sedation closed her eyes.

"I'm not going to let any happen to you, any of you" Elliot swore fiercely brushing away at his eyes. He knew he couldn't make that promise but he would die trying if he had to. Nothing would hurt his family, his children, his babies, his Olivia.

**So vote, vote, vote and comment!**


	11. Chapter 11: Spectrum

**Hey my Joyful Hearts! Hope you've all voted! Thanks so much to those who did. Really, in this - one person and every person can make a difference! Anyway, so I thought I'd give you guys some good news in this chapter. BUT, unfortunately. Things don't stay that way for long, at least not for everyone in the story. **

**You know the rule! 10 comments and there's the potential of an update tomorrow because I don't have lectures! Xo, TLH**

Olivia was still asleep when the doctor told Elliot at 8:00 pm that visiting hours were over and that he had to leave now.

That was the only reason Elliot didn't argue back, he didn't want to wake Olivia now that she was finally getting some rest.

But still his throat tightened when he lifted himself up from the bed and Olivia rolled slightly towards the spot where he had lay as if she was searching for him – and her brow furrowed when he wasn't there and her lips pursed in a small frown even in unconsciousness.

He bent down and brushed his lips against her forehead before he left and her brow smoothed out again.

The only thought enabling him to walk out those doors was the knowledge that he could take Olivia home in another twelve hours or so.

He'd personally found every night nurse on shift and given them his business card, writing his home and cell number on it for them to call if Olivia's monitors so much as blipped the wrong way throughout the night.

But before he went home, there was one more thing he had to do. He knew everybody would still be at the station, but he couldn't bear the thought of re-living and explaining everything that had happened that day over and over again.

So he waited until most people had cleared out and let himself into Cragen's office. He had twenty missed calls from the man on his cell phone, and hadn't been able to jot more than "Accident – Liv in hospital" before he'd had to shut off his phone so he could follow her into the hospital with its strict no cell phone policy.

"Elliot, thank God! How's Olivia?" Donald Cragen visibly tensed as he took in Elliot's devastated expression.

"Is it the babies? ...Olivia?" Elliot shook his head, not knowing where to start.

"At the Hastings', she slipped on the ice and blacked out. She, she started to haemorrhage and I found after half an hour once we'd gotten Alice Hastings under control".

He took another deep breath, starting even more shakily than before "some tests results came back abnormal…There – there's a possibility the babies will be born with some type of mental or physical handicap…We don't know yet. And we won't know until her twenty week ultrasound".

Elliot buried his face in his hands, ashamed he couldn't hold back his tears and Cragen pulled out a bottle of scotch; pouring out a decent cupful and sliding it over to Elliot who downed it in one, looking back up at his Captain with a haunted, vacant expression.

"And Liv…she's not good Cap. She was so weak when I left her, and I can't help feeling it's my fault because I told her about the test results".

"Elliot, you couldn't keep it from her. She's their mother; she has a right to know".

"But I think it nearly killed her. Her worst fears have come true. Someone she loves is hurting because of her parentage, her genetics – her mother's rapist, her father. She blames herself".

"I know you're off for the next couple of weeks but anything you or she need Elliot…" the Captain trailed off, knowing he didn't need to continue.

"Yeah, I know…Thanks Cap" he exhaled. "I think we want to wait before telling everybody though, at least until after Liv's ultrasound in a few weeks. No point in upsetting everyone else before we're sure".

"Still – that's a lot on your shoulders".

"I'd do anything to take that pain away from her".

The next morning, Elliot got to the hospital as soon as the doors were opened for visitors, he wanted to be there when Olivia woke up if she hadn't already.

She was sitting up when he got to the room, but her eyes were closed, her head resting on her shoulder as if she fell asleep waiting for him. But when he stepped through the doorway, her eyes opened and she smiled weakly.

A nurse with the nametag 'Joanne' popped her head through the door. "Oh good, you're here Mr. Stabler, the doctor says there's something urgent he needs to talk to you about".

Olivia's face whitened and her hand flew to her belly protectively, palming it nervously underneath the sheets.

Helpless against himself, Elliot came over to her and took her in his arms as she tucked her head underneath his chin.

"Their monitors and vitals were good all night, every time I woke up I checked to see but everything was fine. It still looks fine, God Elliot what else could happen? Why is this happening to us? I hate feeling so scared and so weak and so helpless. I've never been the kind of woman who panics and is dependant on others, never, never, never".

"Olivia, you are the strongest, bravest, kindest most giving wonderful, woman I have ever known. Depending on someone, especially if it's your husband, isn't a sign of being weak. It's a sign of strength that you'll do anything for your babies. That you'll be a wonderful mother – and it tells me that you trust me with the most important thing in your life".

"You are one of the most important things in my life" Olivia argued back.

"And you mine, and no matter what the doctor says that is never going to change – got it? Never."

Their doctor appeared in the doorway, and Elliot felt Olivia tense in his arms. He pressed his lips to the sensitive spot behind her ear and gently rubbed the sides of her swollen stomach with his thumbs reassuringly.

"I'm afraid there's been some error…Mrs. Stabler – your test results were accidentally contaminated in the lab, changing the readings".

Olivia didn't dare let go of her breath, not yet.

"And I apologize for how that misinformation must have affected you. In fact, I've just run the tests personally after having the lab repeat them. There is nothing wrong with your babies apart from the trauma of your accident and fall".

"What? Are you saying that they'll be born healthy? No disabilities or diseases?"

"Not as of this moment. Chromosome makeup is normal, no missing adenosine link like we previously thought."

"And you're sure? You've ran the tests again?"

"Four times, with four different samples Mr. Stabler. If your wife can carry to term, which is still undetermined…"

He turned to Olivia "– then there is no reason to expect you will give birth to anything other than a healthy set of fraternal twins, providing you take it easy and watch your blood pressure".

After apologizing again and signing her discharge papers, the doctor left.

"They're okay" Olivia repeated in shock, still staring blankly. "They're okay! Elliot - ".

But Elliot cut her off by kissing her and she felt a tear roll down his cheek and mingle with her own.

Then he bent over her, pushing her hospital gown aside and covering her bare belly with kisses.

Olivia held his head to her, she couldn't stop crying. But this time it was out of sheer relief and exhaustion and gratitude.

"Take me home, Elliot"

"Gladly".

An hour later Olivia had gotten dressed, conceding halfway through trying to put on her first sock that she needed Elliot's help, and now they were just signing the last of the release forms at the nurse's station while Olivia glared down at the wheelchair she was being forced to leave the hospital in.

"If my ankle wasn't sprained and I wasn't in such a good mood about the babies there would be no way I'd agree to sitting in this thing" Olivia grumbled as a chuckling Elliot pushed her through the automatic doors.

"Yes you would. Hospital regulations" he reminded her, tongue in cheek as she stuck her own out at him.

"Great role model you're going to be" Elliot teased back, leaning over to kiss the top of her head to let her know he was only joking.

But before Olivia had time to respond, an ambulance screeched to a stop just in front of them, sirens blaring and lights flashing as a team of paramedics jumped out the back doors.

"Shallow breathing, raped repeatedly, severely dehydrated, possibility of pre-term labour and various cuts and contusions all over her body – especially the chest and genitals" the medics rattled off the injured woman's list of symptoms to the emergency doctors who'd run out to meet the ambulance, bringing a stretcher as they came.

"And you'll wanna call in SVU – says the man cut and dyed her hair, and kept calling her 'Olivia'".

Olivia's entire body froze as she listened to the hurried conversation.

At the mention of her name, the woman's eyes opened and she thrashed around.

"You have to warn her. He wants her, he's obsessed! Her name is Olivia Benson, you have to find her and tell her he's coming after her" she cried out and clutched at her belly, tears running down her face, soaking her matted hair, which Olivia could tell by roots was naturally blonde.

As the woman on the stretcher was wheeled away, Olivia turned to Elliot. "We have to follow her, make sure the rape kit is done properly and try and see if she remembers where she was being held!"

"No Liv, what you need to do is go home and rest. Don't try and tell me otherwise because I know for a fact that you're mentally and physically exhausted and sick. You need to take care of yourself before you can start taking care of others. I'll call Cragen in the car and tell him to get Munch and Fin over here".

Olivia craned her neck to look back and see if she could still see the victim, but the doors had already closed.

"Tell you what, if and only if you're feeling up to it we can invite the guys over for an easy takeout dinner and drinks and they can fill us in while you rest".

"Fine – you're right, I know – I just…"

"Can't turn it off"; the side of Elliot's mouth quirked up as he finished her sentence for her: "I know".

"Thank you for looking after me and the babies", Olivia rested her hands overtop the bulge of her belly after Elliot had helped her into the car.

"You never need to thank me for that Liv - ever".

**Love love love me some reviews! **


	12. Chapter 12: A Flutter of Fear

**Sorry it took so long to update, could not find any motivation to write...and then a new SVU was on last night so I was doubly inspired! Thank you to everyone who voted for Joyful Heart on facebook, we'll know in a day or so what the results are!**

**And...I'M GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL TODAY! I know, I know, it's October and I've already started university...but my school does it this way so summer school kids can graduate with th e rest of the class (stupid stupid stupid esp. b/c some people went further away to school) BUT I get to see my best friends so I'm super excited to catch up with them and my old teachers!**

**So...you can leave a review as a graduation gift for me :) Xo, TLH**

"Olivia, why don't you try and get some sleep? Cragen and everyone else won't be here for another couple of hours anyway" Elliot spoke from the doorway where he was watching Olivia spread out her file folders on the coffee table in front of the couch.

But she didn't hear him, or more likely, just ignored him as she continued: "He's escalating; now he's taking the victims back to his place so he can torture them for longer periods of time…But why me? What relationship did I have with this person that he now feels he's entitled to me?"

Elliot came over to the couch now, sitting down at one end and swinging Olivia's legs up onto his lap so she was flat on her back instead of sitting up. He pressed his thumbs into the arches of her feet and she moaned in pleasure.

"If you think this is distracting me…you're right" she breathed huskily as Elliot rubbed her feet. "I can't believe they've already started to swell and I'm barely at my 5th month".

"Which is why you have to relax and put your feet up more often" Elliot added, switching to the other foot, kneading the puffy skin on her feet and ankles.

"It's just…if I work – I don't have to think about what's going to happen if I start bleeding again" she admitted quietly, running her fingertips lightly over her distended stomach.

"I've never been so scared Elliot, than when I was in that hospital and I could feel myself losing them. Each cramp, each trickle of blood telling me I wasn't good enough, that even the world thought I didn't deserve to be a mother".

She shook her head as if to clear her thoughts, forgetting the bump on her head and wincing when the motion made her head spin.

"I need to keep them safe, I need to catch this guy before he can hurt any more mothers or their babies in my name – I don't want my babies to born into fear and hurt from the get go. They'll have enough of that in their lives as they start to learn what we do for a living".

She paused for another moment, her hands stilling on her belly "if I give birth", her eyes welled up and she closed them, turning her head away.

Elliot turned it gently back towards him with his thumb and forefinger, speaking very carefully as he looked into her eyes and enunciating each word, getting faster as he spoke, wanting her so much to know what he was saying was the truth and that he meant every word.

"You are not going to lose these babies. I'm going to be here with you for every moment, and watch you grow bigger with my babies and tell you how beautiful you are and rub your feet when you're tired and then I'll be with you as you give birth to our children however that ends up happening C-section or otherwise. And I'm going to be thanking God for every minute of it; because there is nothing else I want more Olivia, nothing".

Olivia nodded, pushing the folders away with one hand and twisting around so her head lay on Elliot's chest instead of her feet. He covered her with a blanket, stroking her hair until her eyes grew heavy and closed.

Despite her muddled emotions and turmoil about the case, Olivia fell asleep almost instantly curled up against the warmth and comforting strength of Elliot's arms.

"Baby, the guys are going to be here any minute" Elliot stroked her cheek gently with his thumb and kissed her to wake Olivia up.

She blinked sleepily and then surprisedly; "it's 6:00 pm already? How long was I asleep?"

"Mmm, about 7 hours give or take. I think that's the longest you've gone the whole pregnancy without going to the bathroom" he teased her gently as he helped her sit up.

"Ooh, speaking of" – she got to her feet and hurried over to the bathroom, pausing before she went through the door and sending a look of uncertainty to Elliot.

He came over to the door and took her face in his hands, "whatever happens" he promised her.

Elliot was still standing guard at the door when Olivia came out, leaning into him as he wrapped his arms around her and pressed his lips to her hair before walking her back to the couch.

"Any more bleeding?" Elliot asked softly as he brushed back a stray lock of hair that had fallen in front of her eyes.

"A little…but it's slowed down a lot and I'm having less back pain" she gave him a watery smile.

The doorbell rang and Elliot got up to answer it.

Once he'd left the room Olivia placed her palms over her belly, and blinking back the tears that were always on the verge these days whispered "Please stay in there babies. Your mama wants you inside her so badly, and she and daddy love you so much sweet babies. Just hold on for mommy".

She brushed at her eyes quickly; "Hey guys!" she smiled from where she was sitting on the couch as Cragen, Munch and Fin came through the door. "Did you get the extra egg rolls?"

"Hi Liv, we're fine – thanks for asking" Munch quipped as Fin snorted and pulled out a carton from the paper bag he was holding that held their Chinese takeout.

Olivia grinned sheepishly and patted her tummy, "Eating for three here" she joked as the food was passed around, but then her eyes turned serious again.

"So tell me, the woman who was taken into the hospital – it was our guy wasn't it? But why would he change his MO like that?"

Cragen answered, setting down his chopsticks, "He's obsessed with you Olivia, Claire Jones – that's the woman he held hostage, said there were pictures of a brown haired woman pasted all around the room where she was kept".

"He dyed and cut her hair to look like yours, called her by your name – especially when he was…" Munch started and stopped just before he was about to say 'raping her', but Olivia knew what he was going to say.

"She must have gotten a good look at him; could she give us a description?" Olivia pressed, looking around the room and noticing no one would meet her eyes.

"She didn't make it Liv" Fin's sorrowful brown eyes came up to meet hers. "It was too late to stop the labour once she got to the hospital and she started to haemorrhage. She died in childbirth".

"And the baby?" Olivia whispered, dreading what she knew she was about to hear from the expressions on her friends' faces.

"He didn't make it either Liv, he died a few minutes after he was born" Cragen spoke gently, but the words still pierced her heart and stole her breath as she closed her eyes against the pain and sadness.

"Oh" she put down the takeout container and snuggled closer to Elliot, needing his warmth and reassurance. Elliot drew her into his arms easily so her head rested against his chest and his hands soothing her and the babies by rubbing careful circles over her protruding belly.

"We're going to find him Liv, we won't let anything happen to you or your babies" Munch promised her, wanting to take away the hurt he saw in her eyes.

Everyone thought Munch was the hardest, most cynical member of the team. But the truth was is that he cared too much, felt everything strongly – and that's what sickened him, that he could still be repulsed after everything he'd seen.

It was then he decided there was a call he needed to make as soon as he left, and a certain apartment he needed to go by – where there was a certain woman who deserved an explanation for a few things.

"You guys are going to make amazing uncles" Olivia smiled tearfully at two of the men in her life.

"And it would mean so much to me if they had a grandpa" she said, looking at Cragen to gauge his reaction.

The captain cleared his throat and blinked his suddenly moist eyes "I would be honoured" he said gruffly, trying to hide his emotions by grabbing another container of mu-shu pork and digging into it.

That night, just before dawn broke Olivia was just drifting off to sleep after getting up to go to the bathroom for the fourth time that night when she felt something strange, like a flutter deep in her belly. She held her breath as she waited for it again to make sure she wasn't imagining things, and let out a deep breath in wonder as she felt the tiny movement inside her.

She knew it was too early to see or feel from the outside, but nonetheless she pulled her oversized pajama shirt over her rounded belly, needing to feel closer to her babies and the two fragile lives inside her that seemed more real than ever.

"Elliot" she whispered, half afraid that if she spoke too loudly, she would frighten the babies into not moving again, although she knew that thought was silly.

"Uumphh" came the reply as Elliot turned his face into the pillow

"Elliot!" she moved carefully onto her back, shaking his arm.

"Wha – What? Are you bleeding? Contractions? I'll get the car, stay here" Elliot was halfway across the room when he stopped, hearing Olivia's voice again.

"C'mere" she crooked her finger at him and held out her hand as he came back to bed. She took his hand in her own and brought it down to the middle cresting of her stomach.

"I felt the babies move" she whispered, grinning broadly as if sharing a secret.

Comprehension chased away the confusion on his face and a huge smile dawned, lighting up his face like the dawn. He pushed her shirt up further, exposing the increasing roundness of her belly and skimming his fingers lightly over the stretched skin.

Olivia concentrated for a moment, her gaze turning inward as she probed her fingers into her abdomen.

"I think... Baby A is here" she said slowly, rubbing the right lower side of her stomach, "and Baby B is up here...", now she brought her hand up to the top left.

"Have I ever told you how amazing you are?" Elliot kissed her and Olivia pretended to think for a moment.

"Hmm, you might have – but I wouldn't mind hearing it again" she teased warmly, shrieking in surprise as Elliot pushed her back gently against the pillows and devouring her with his mouth.

"You're so beautiful Liv, so perfect. You're amazing, what you're doing, what your body is doing is amazing and beautiful and if I wasn't so asleep I would come up with more adjectives" he dropped kisses all over her body before resting his head against the swell his children made.

"I love you Elliot – I couldn't imagine or want anyone else's babies growing beneath my heart"

"I still thank God every day that you were somehow blind enough to agree to marry me – I love you so much Olivia. And everything is going to be okay, it'll be okay" he promised her as she fell back to sleep in his arms.


	13. Chapter 13: No Rhyme Nor Reason

**Happy (Canadian) Thanksgiving weekend everybody! Sorry for the late update, BUT on the plus side this chapter is basically double my usual word count for a chapter because I couldn't find an earleir place to cut it off :) So enjoy! and comment! and review! And don't forget to watch SVU tomorrow night :) xo**

Elliot and Olivia had gotten into a routine by the end of her first week of bed rest, and had it perfected by the end of her second.

Elliot woke up at 6:30 each morning and would start the kettle for Olivia's tea before jumping in the shower and getting dressed.

Then he would take a tray in to Liv with her tea, prenatal vitamins and animal crackers – which they had found worked better in soothing her upset stomach and quashing the morning sickness than regular crackers did – something they'd found out completely by accident.

Eli had been over on one of Elliot's weekends with him and Olivia had been up all night sick but there had been a blizzard the day before so all the stores were closed due to the weather – which meant that when they ran out of crackers there was no way for them to get more until the streets were cleared.

But Elliot had been worried when she hadn't been able to keep anything down; so he'd grabbed Eli's little Tupperware snack container of animal crackers and convinced Olivia to try one.

Now, on the days she was feeling particularly bad they were all she would or could eat. Going further into her second trimester didn't seem to be helping things either – but they had been warned that some women experienced the nausea for the entire duration of the pregnancy, great...

He'd set the tray down on the bedside table and wake Olivia up by kissing her; each day waking her with the worship of his lips, although the where on that part varied greatly seeing as how sex was still a no-go. And this morning was essentially like any other – other than Olivia feeling a little more nauseous than usual.

"Good morning mama" Elliot said in a low rumble as he pressed his lips to her collarbone.

"Mmm, maybe for you – do you think you could tell your children to give it a rest in there?" Olivia gingerly propped herself up against the pillows and reached over to grab an animal cracker.

Elliot watched as his pregnant wife warily bit the head off a hippo and laughed, "Oh, so they're my kids when they're misbehaving?" he teased good-naturedly.

He repositioned himself on the bed and lowered his head to rest lightly on the swell his children made. Olivia relished the feel of his warm breath and tender lips on her belly and she stroked a hand across his hair, keeping him close to her as he spoke.

"Good morning babies" he rubbed the mound of her stomach in slow careful circles.

"Can you be good for mommy today while daddy's at work and let her get some rest? We get to see you again next week when we go to the doctor, and we can't wait to see how much you've grown. We can see you growing bigger in your mama's tummy every day".

He lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper; "I know she's grouchy a lot of the time right now"

Olivia swatted at his head half annoyed half amused: "but I know how much she loves feeling you move in her belly. You probably know by now she calls you her little peanuts – well babies, in this family we're all a little bit nuts at times".

Olivia snorted and he continued "but we love you so much babies. You guys are the only thing that could ever make your mother agree to be confined to a bed for weeks at a time. You guys won the mom lottery for sure".

A soft nudge from a tiny elbow or knee bumped against his hand and Olivia looked up at him; "they know their daddy's voice" she said as her own cracked with emotion.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay home with you today?" Elliot asked worriedly as he clipped his gun holster to his belt.

"We'll be fine El" Olivia reassured him, patting her tummy. "We're just going to chill out here and watch some tv, you'll only be gone for a couple of hours".

Elliot eyed her suspiciously; "Just as long as it's not one of those TLC specials like Maternity Ward or 'I delivered triplets alone in a blizzard'. Elliot ribbed her – remembering last week when he'd returned from the supermarket to find a hysterical Olivia on the couch telling him they needed twine and tin foil and blankets for the back of the car.

Until he reminded her that she wasn't due to give birth until August and that he could guarantee with 99.9% certainty that she would not be left to give birth to the twins in a snowstorm with no one around for miles seeing as how they lived in New York City, population: millions.

"Apparently the show today is about a woman who gave birth while she was scuba-diving off the coast of the Caribbean" Olivia informed him happily.

"Heaven help us" Elliot rolled his eyes grinning and dropped a kiss on the top of Liv's head before he walked out the door.

Just before eleven o'clock that morning, Olivia sat enthralled – glued to the tv as she watched the re-enactment on tv as the woman unzipped her wet suit as she was crowning and delivered her baby underwater – kicking gently to the top with the umbilical cord still attached to the baby and to the placenta inside her that was providing the newborn with oxygen when the door buzzer rang.

A shiver ran up her spine when she heard it, even though she thought she'd gotten over nearly jumping out of her skin every time it rang.

Getting up carefully, she shuffled towards the little white box and pressed the speaker button ,calling out "Hey James, who is it?"

"Another delivery Mrs. Stabler, but this time it's just flowers and a sealed note. I was going to call Mr. Stabler but I thought I'd call up first and see if you were expecting anything like this".

"No" Olivia choked out, knowing that Elliot would never send a present by delivery after what had happened last time. "No, but I'll call him – could you just hang onto it until he gets here? Just try not to touch it; we may need it to go into evidence".

She lifted her finger off the speaker and her legs and hands felt weak and trembled as she reached for the cordless phone, stumbling over to the couch as she waited for Elliot to pick up.

"Change your mind about your lunch order again?" Elliot teased as he came on the line.

"Elliot, I need you to come home" her voice was eerily calm and even. "James just called up to say there's been another delivery".

"I'm coming baby, hold on" Elliot slammed down the phone and grabbed his coat. "Meet me at the apartment – there's been another delivery".

The babies squirmed anxiously in her belly, combining with her nerves to cause her stomach to churn nauseously. She sat back down on the sofa, breathing in and out deeply as she rubbed away a mild cramp, trying to soothe the babies in her womb.

"It's okay guys…we're okay. Mommy's not going to let anything happen to you" she rested her hands over where she knew her babies lay inside her. She couldn't afford to let her blood pressure get even higher because of the stress or the cramps she was feeling clench her lower abdomen would worsen. And at least this time it wasn't another box or package; just flowers and a letter.

But that didn't stop her shoulders from slumping in relief when she heard Elliot at the door.

"Olivia".

At the sight of Elliot's concerned face, Olivia's own mask of self composure slipped and crumpled. But still she fought against it, not giving in to her tears.

"Show me" she demanded, pushing herself off of his chest slightly and looking around at the other SVU detectives who had just come in the door.

"Liv, you don't wanna see" said Fin, "we're not gonna let this guy get anywhere near you".

Olivia fixed them with a look that they all knew all too well. And it said that she wasn't putting up with any of this bullshit and to give her what she wanted now.

Cragen sighed, shaking his head and brought an NYPD evidence box over from where it had been placed in the hallway.

At first glance it looked like a delivery of a dozen red roses and a handwritten letter in scrawled but flowing script. But as she scootched over to the end of the couch she saw that the flowers weren't all roses, and they weren't red.

"It's blood" she stated needlessly as she looked inside the box "dried blood…it's on the thorns as well, we'll need to send them off for DNA testing and see if it's from one of our victims".

She pulled on a plastic glove and extracted the letter from the outside wrapping of the flowers, which she started to read aloud.

"Olivia –

The time has come, for you and I, to stop these silly games. The bastards swelling up your stomach won't be needing names.

I tried to throw you off by saying those brats were my obsession – other mothers merely pawns till you're in my possession. But you'll never rest in peace, I 'fess, this is my true confession.

You've waited, wanted for so long for the time when you'd give birth. And I swear to you I'll be there as your blood paints red the earth.

You think we've met before, I know. I'll tell you that you're wrong. You've never seen my face or flesh, but now it won't be long.

So see there is no reason – no reason but there's rhyme. But I'll make you my victim, be assured there'll come a time.

Your whoresome mother let you live, some forty years ago. I should have killed you then, but then, we wouldn't have this show.

The slate wiped clean, I'll rid the earth, of your abomination. And rest assured your infants too will never see salvation.

The monsters you'll give birth to, should give you much to dread. You've dared to seed, to birth, give life to genes that should be dead.

For in yourself, you've surely seen a dark and evil calling. And were you smart, you'd suicide to stop the apple falling.

Your genes are what you are you know, a drunk and child of rape. The world is better off without you, and I won't let you escape.

You see Olivia? The other woman didn't have to suffer, or to die. It was all because I needed them to get to you. You're the one who killed them; who is responsible for their deaths and the deaths of their infants. Be assured, my 'baby' gift will be the only baby you'll ever hold in your arms. And the flowers I sent will be the only baby's breath you'll get to see. You can pretend you're good, hide behind your badge and your medals of honour. But you're a killer; you hurt people or cause them hurt. You're not good; you're just like your father. A sexual sadist who doesn't deserve to live, who shouldn't have gotten the chance to be born…the same mistake won't be made with the evil spawn in your womb. But I promise you you will suffer – suffer like the victims of your father, your own victims and the would-be victims of your children should they be allowed to live. Good bye for now Olivia, you'll be hearing from me".

The paper slipped from her trembling hands as she finished reading and she swayed slightly on her feet where she was standing next to the coffee table where the box was.

Elliot was still frozen in horror at what he'd just heard so it was Cragen who steadied Olivia and helped her sit down on the couch, still white faced.

Elliot came back to his senses after a moment and took Olivia's fce in his hands, forcing her to look at him. "Olivia, listen to me. None of this is your fault, you are not your father. You help people, you don't hurt them".

Olivia closed her eyes and nodded, curling into a ball – shivering as Elliot's steady warmth penetrated her thin NYPD t-shirt that was old and too small so it didn't manage to cover her stomach and he wrapped his arms around her; rocking her back and forth as if she was a child, herself.

"I know I'm not my father" she managed eventually. "It's taken me a long time to come to terms with who my parents were" she got up from the couch and started to pace the room again.

"I just…what I need is to catch this sick bastard who's been killing innocent women and children in my name. I will not, I repeat not let all the good I have done and all the good I can still do be overlooked because of some eugenicist sociopath".

Elliot was standing now as well and started to walk over to her with the intention of making her sit down again when she paled again and swayed on her feet. Elliot caught her in his arms as she half stumbled half fell into him.

"Oh" she moaned, her eyes still closed and her breathing shallow; "Oh, I don't feel very well".

"You let us know when you have anything else" Elliot nodded at Cragen, Fin and Munch before scooping Olivia up gently behind the knees and carrying her into the bedroom.

He came back out after a moment, closing the bedroom door behind him and faced his friends and colleagues.

"Damn" Fin said simply. "Elliot she doesn't look good".

"I've never seen her this way" Munch added, still staring a hole through the bedroom door. "Is she even going to be able to carry the babies to full term? I mean, she is over 40…I've just never seen her so weak".

Elliot nodded again, passing a hand over his tired eyes and sighing. "It's all got to do with her blood pressure. It goes up, her heart needs to work harder and she gets faint or dizzy and the slight change in oxygen levels can cause cramping or miscarriage. She's been amazing so far with handling it but…"

"There's only so much anyone can take before they're at their breaking point" Cragen finished for him.

"Liv is stronger than most, hell than any I've seen, but still. This has to be hard for her, some bastard making her live through her worst fears during an already high-risk first time pregnancy".

"I don't know what to do" Elliot admitted to his friends.

Cragen looked thoughtful for a moment and then spoke up, "I have a cottage up north…full amenities, heating, electricity, water. It'll still be a little cool for the lake but at least it's somewhere away from the city where you can take her for a few weeks while we make sure this place isn't bugged and try and follow up on whatever clues this new evidence might give us".

Elliot looked up gratefully; "Thanks Cap – Olivia has her 20 week doctor's appointment tomorrow anyway, so if we get the all clear I'll take her up on Friday".

The older man nodded and cleared his throat; "Good, that's settled then. We'll get out of your hair – let Liv get some rest. Give her our love".

"Will do Cap, thanks. And let us know when you get the DNA results back".

After they'd left Elliot went back in to Olivia, hoping he would find her sleeping. But instead she lay turned away from him on her side, sniffling softly as if; if he couldn't see her tears he wouldn't know she was crying.

"Liv…" Elliot's voice was soothing as Olivia felt the bed sink down with his weight. "Don't hide from me honey – come on baby, talk to me".

"What is there to talk about Elliot? By existing, I'm putting my babies in danger" she laughed but it was a bitter, angry sound. "It seems like my mother's not the only one who wishes I was never born".

She turned to face him, "and the thing is – that's not what scares me Elliot. People will think what they're going to think, and I've been called worse by better people than whatever freak is out to get me. What scares me is that there is someone who does want my children dead".

She paused again, closing her eyes as if exhausted. "And what scares me even more is that even if we do catch this guy, that I won't be strong enough to carry the twins to birth. Things happen, accidents happen and as much as I know you love me, you can't rescue me from every one of them. You can't keep me in a plastic bubble".

"You will never be a victim, Olivia. I don't care what it costs, what it takes, what I have to do or sacrifice. But I will fight for you – but I know you're strong enough".

"I'm just so tired of fighting, of the same fucking fight that pays our bills. I'm so tired…"

One of the babies kicked again and Olivia rubbed at the spot unconsciously; "it's okay little ones" she whispered, and Elliot covered her hand with his.

"Sleep now Liv, tomorrow we get to see our babies and everything is going to be perfect, and then I'm going to take you away for a few weeks until you are the picture of health and have gotten as round as a beach ball from growing those babies in your belly".

"You promise?" she slurred as she dropped off to sleep.

He pulled her closer, tucking her head beneath his chin, "I promise, Olivia".

**Reviews make my fingers fly over this keyboard :)**


	14. Chapter 14: Respite

**Hey darlings! Wow, okay so this is the second chapter I've put up with more than double the normal word count. So does that mean I should ask for double the reviews? lol. **

**But it's actually funny, I stopped prefacing with the 10 review rule and you all stopped reviewing! Well, some of you anyway. Shout outs and hearts to my faithfuls! So...10 reviews? At least!**

**Haven't even started the next chapter yet; had to finish a stupid paper for university and this was legit the title - **

**Response and Observation in a Modern Catholic Mass in Parallel to the Teachings and Liturgical Order of the Didache...Yeah, EO's a lot more fun to write :)**

**So review!**

"Have you started a Lamaze class yet?" a curly haired woman who looked about ready to burst questioned Olivia as they sat in the waiting room the next day for their 20 week appointment .

"Uh, no…no, actually Dr. Katz is planning on a caesarean birth – I'm having twins" Olivia explained, a little taken aback at being interrogated by a complete stranger, and an extremely pregnant stranger at that.

"How far along are you?" Olivia asked, unable to help herself. If this woman was only having one, Olivia didn't even want to think about what she would look like by the time it came time for her to deliver.

"41 weeks and three days. This is my fourth" the other woman replied happily. "I've been walking around 3 cm dilated since I was 8 months but this little guy won't budge so I'm having my membranes stripped today. I'm not worried though. Each of my labours with my other three have been faster than the last. So I won't be surprised if I'm in the kitchen tonight and the baby just drops and comes right out. My husband Jamie caught our last baby all by himself in the back of our car, we didn't have time to make it to the hospital" the woman laughed and chattered on while Olivia stared at the giant mound under the other woman's dress as if when she stood up the baby would fall right out onto the seat.

"Last night, my Jamie was doing perineal massage and he said he could slip a finger in and feel the baby's head through the water sac. Have you started perineal massage yet? No? You really should – it really helps to stretch your girlfriend out for labour, and heaven knows you won't hardly be able to reach down there soon enough. Nipple stimulation also works great for regulating your contractions. Of course, when you're leaking and sensitive, it gets a little harder".

Olivia stared, her mouth agape wordless when the secretary called out a name and the woman stood.

"Ooh, that's me. Good luck honey" Olivia watched the woman waddle precariously down the hall, holding her belly like it was a sack of potatoes until she disappeared into one of the examination rooms.

"El? El, please tell me that's not going to happen to me?" Olivia whispered. "If I ever and I mean ever, start talking about my perineum or leaking breasts in public you have my permission to shoot me.

An hour later, the babies and Olivia had been pronounced perfectly healthy, and as far as anyone could tell, had suffered no permanent damage from Olivia's fall and consequent almost miscarriage.

The only thing that the doctor expressed concern over was Olivia's still ever-present nausea and blood pressure.

And when Elliot told the man of his plans to take her away for a few weeks, Dr. Katz agreed wholeheartedly, saying that he thought that just might be the perfect thing to take Olivia's mind off anything stressful.

But best of all, they had also been given permission to resume all normal activities – including sex.

"So we're going to use Cragen's cabin as a love shack" Elliot waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Olivia burst out laughing.

"And I managed to steal a few brews from the parents, maybe we'll have a totally rad party. I hope Johnny J. is there" Olivia teased back in a girlish falsetto, playing along with the whole adolescent theme.

Then Olivia snorted, patting her ever rounding tummy. "Yeah, we're really living on the edge – what with our endless supply of animal crackers and pregnancy tea. Not to mention a wife with constant morning sickness and a twenty pound sack of potatoes strapped to her front – not exactly the perky varsity cheerleader or life of the party".

"Hmm, maybe I'm just trying to keep you all to myself out here where there's no one else around".

Olivia laughed again, "Easy big guy, I'm all yours. Besides, the only other man who's interested in me right now is a sexually deviant murderer".

"Uh-uh-uh" Elliot reprimanded her, "No work talk or talk of any kind that might induce stress".

"Ugh, okay, you're right" she flashed him a mischievous smile, "So are we there yet?

"Soon, go to sleep baby – I'll wake you up when we're there".

Olivia reclined the seat a little and undid her hair from its short ponytail so she could lay her head back against the headrest.

"Mmm…Could you tell these babies to go to sleep? Instead of peanuts I feel like there's an entire group of Mexican jumping beans in there" she groaned, chuckling at the same time as she pulled up her shirt and watched the little rippling movements chase each other over her stomach.

"Okay guys, bedtime" Elliot reached over and rubbed the swell.

Almost immediately, Olivia could feel the babies quieten in her belly. "How come they always listen to you?" she griped - a rueful smile quirking up the corners of her mouth.

"They've already started playing one parent against the other" Elliot grinned, his hand now resting palm down on her precious full abdomen.

After a few minutes, Elliot could hear Olivia's breathing soften and slow and he knew she had fallen asleep.

Good, she needed the rest if the deep purple bags under her eyes were any indication. But of course she was too damn stubborn to allow herself a moment of respite – seeing it as weakness instead.

Cragen's lodge/cabin was a little less than 3 hours out of the city when there was good traffic. But now that it was the beginning of April, the mass exodus out of the city meant that they didn't pull into the driveway of the cabin until 7:00 pm that night.

"Liv, wait till I help you out of the car" Elliot called out uselessly as Olivia hopped down from the black Chevy Tahoe's passenger side.

"I'm 100% healthy, remember? And getting out of a car isn't exactly likely to increase my blood pressure" she reminded him.

"Well maybe you'll forgive me when you see what I've packed for you" Olivia walked over to him and wrapped her arms around Elliot's neck, nipping his ear lightly and tracing her tongue down his jawbone until their lips met.

"One way or another Liv, you'll be the death of me" Elliot scooped her up into his arms with Olivia shrieking giddily in surprise and carried her over the threshold.

As soon as they were in the door, Elliot dropped their bags and reached a hand behind him and slammed the door shut.

Olivia reached for the buttons on his shirt and tugged it off of him while Elliot pushed down the shoulders of her t-shirt and feasted on the delicate cleft of her collarbone, working his way down until he came to her breasts.

Pressed tightly against him, Olivia pushed her hips forward, needing him desperately.

Elliot's hands had settled around her thickened waist and were pulling her closer to him as his tongue plunged mercilessly into the velvet depths of her mouth that called out his name with a fiery trace of need running through it.

But all of a sudden, Elliot felt a different vibration under his fingers. Olivia pulled back, cheeks flushing guiltily as Elliot laughed, resting his forehead against hers.

He dropped down to his knees and spoke directly to her belly before looking up at her. "The natives are getting restless - I think our children are telling us that it's dinnertime. Do you feel up to some pasta?"

"Oh God yes", Olivia let her head fall back eyes closed in anticipation as she followed Elliot into the kitchen – the fact that they were half dressed not bothering them in the slightest, their only complaint would be that they weren't completely undressed.

"I feel like I haven't eaten in months" she pulled up a stool to the breakfast bar in the middle of the kitchen and watched Elliot unpack the bags of groceries.

After a while, she padded over to the stove, munching on a breadstick and dipping it into the marinara sauce simmering on one of the burners, "God, I'm starving".

"Ow, ooh – ha- hot!" she dropped the breadstick and fanned her tongue with her hands.

Elliot tried to smother his laughter, "that's why we wait until the food is OFF the stove" he teased as Olivia walked over to the cupboard, searching for a glass for water.

"Very funny, Elliot" she deadpanned, filling her glass at the sink before turning around and leaning back against the counter, rubbing her belly with one hand idly as she watched her husband toss the salad for dinner.

"I think Baby A is lying right across my lower belly now – right in front" she mused as she palmed the firm bump. "And Baby B is still right up in my top left".

She paused for a moment, looking downwards "It's the most amazing thing to feel them inside of me Elliot. There are two tiny little beings in there, that have got to come out somehow and they'll grow up into people with personalities and likes and dislikes and…" her eyes glazed over slightly as she got caught up in her reverie.

"I never thought I would be a mom, or feel the fluttering of life in my womb. Everyday I still wake up and see my belly and I can't quite believe its happening. It's like I'm standing, balancing on the edge of a cliff and behind me is familiar, everything I've ever known and in front of me is the future and it's black and hazy but it's pulling me closer into it. I keep having this image of my belly growing until it's so swollen it pushes me over the cliff, and I don't know if I'm ready or not".

Elliot brought the last of the dishes over to the table, "Well, dinner IS ready – and so are you, Liv".

Once they'd finished, Olivia after 3 bowls of pasta, they retired to the couch – Olivia lying across Elliot's chest as they watched a pay per view movie with the soft, flickering of the fireplace the only lighting in the room.

After a while, Olivia shifted to look over at Elliot. "I'm hungry for something else now" Olivia breathed as she swivelled around to face him with heavy lidded sex soaked eyes.

"Care to finish what you started, Stabler?" she teased him from where she sat partially straddled across his lap, pressing into the thick length of his arousal with her hips, already starting to move them in a familiar grind that almost had him coming undone.

But before he could open his mouth, Olivia pressed a finger against his lips, "and if you ask me if I'm okay doing this one more time I'll kill you" she breathed seductively down the side of his neck, causing goose bumps to rise in the wake of her lips.

Elliot grinned from behind her finger before taking it into his mouth, "I was merely going to ask if you wanted to do this here – or in the bedroom?"

Olivia pushed herself off of him, "give me a minute – I want to show you your present".

Olivia grabbed one of her duffel bags and went into the bathroom, groaning in delight as she saw there was a whirlpool tub in there – although she knew she couldn't use the water jets because she was pregnant.

After she finished changing, she eyed herself in the mirror appraisingly. It was astonishing how her body had changed already to accommodate the two little lives inside of her, and she felt a flicker of apprehension as she walked out of the bathroom, stopping just outside the main living room area.

Elliot had created a kind of nest by the fireplace on the hearth rug with pillows and throws and blankets and her chest tightened at his thoughtfulness and his wanting this to be special for her.

Tentatively, she stepped around one of the wooden beam poles supporting the roof that stood in the middle of the room and moved towards Elliot.

Elliot looked up from the glow of the fire and felt a bigger heat flow through him as Olivia came back into the room.

Her hair was tousled and wavy around her face, the ends just brushing the tops of her breasts, the lusciously full creamy orbs that were barely banded in by the red satin pulling across them.

She was wearing a kind of red satin baby-doll bra confection that ended just above her hips, exposing a tanned curve of hip until his eyes hit the beginning of red lace beginning at the juncture of her thighs.

Sheer lace boy-shorts matching the top spanned her generous hips, moving in titillating rhythm as she walked until Elliot felt he would die if he didn't touch her that very minute.

Olivia paused just a few steps away from the heart rug, looking questioningly at Elliot as she smoothed a hand over the siren's costume she wore.

"El" she cast her eyes down nervously, "I – my body's changed" she explained nervously. "I look a lot different than I did the last time we had sex".

"It's never just been sex with you Olivia, I've always made love to you – and all the love and respect I have for you has grown as I've watched you struggle through this pregnancy. You are so beautiful Liv, and if I don't make love with you right now I think I would die" he choked out, still in awe at the form of the woman in front of him that now more than ever seemed more goddess than woman.

Olivia had always been undeniably sexy, her body calling to him like a siren's song long before they were ever together as a couple. But now, she was unearthly beautiful.

Her cheeks flushed with warmth and love, her eyes pools of doubt and trust all at the same time. Her body made even more ripe and womanly with the changes their babies made.

Elliot rose and went over to Olivia. His hand pushed up the silky fabric covering her belly all while keeping his eyes locked with hers.

Olivia closed her eyes halfway and moaned, helpless as Elliot's hands rasped across her sensitized skin. The ever present ache in her lower back disappearing as Elliot cradled the weight of their children in his hands as he made love to her with his mouth, skimming over her neck and shoulders as they moved slowly towards the fire.

Olivia thought her knees would have given out with pleasure if Elliot hadn't guided her down to the carpet of blankets.

Elliot unclipped the clasp holding together the red satin and they both gasped as the material fell away, melting off of her skin like honeyed water.

Elliot: because he had never seen anything so beautiful, Olivia out of the sheer painfully delicious tightening of her nipples as they met with the cool air.

Elliot took one dusky rose peak between his teeth and tongue, noting its new heaviness and deepening colour, rolling it gently until he could feel the subtle jerks and quivers of Olivia's body tell him she was fully aroused and ready. Then he made love to the other tight bud, leaving it glistening only a moment as he lifted his head and blew softly on it.

Olivia shifted her hips and pressed her thighs tightly together against the growing pressure and heat there. She arched towards him unconsciously, lifting her hips towards, begging him to give her what she wanted, what she needed.

Elliot smiled through his kiss as he felt Olivia's reaction. She moaned softly and opened her eyes to plead silently, offering up her body to him.

His hands still kneading the soft undersides of her breasts, Elliot's mouth moved down her body, lingering a moment over where he knew each of their children lay before his tongue moved down the cleft of her thigh until he was just outside the secret entrance to her body.

He could feel the need and moist heat radiating from her as she writhed beneath his touch, breathless and unable to speak with the feeling roaring through her. Spreading in her veins like the most delicious toxin, rendering her incapable of speech or thought or movement other than to bring her closer to her lover.

His tongue plunged into her, parting the swollen folds of flesh and teasing her until her breaths came raggedly and she pulled his head up; "Now, Elliot" she panted, her voice husky with the intensity of her as yet unquenched desire.

"Almost" he whispered, bending over her to take her mouth with his again in tormenting promise.

Olivia's vision began to blur as her entire body vibrated with unspent passion, hungering for release – dying for him to quench her internal thirst.

Elliot's own breathing was ragged now, and it took every last ounce of discipline and self control not to take her the moment he saw her lying open to him – nearly losing his mind in ecstasy when she called out his name, begging him to finish , to give her the release only he could.

He plunged into her wet velvet heat, teeth clenched against the overwhelming loss of control and time Olivia always induced in him. He felt her tighten around him, her legs wrap around him needing to be closer.

One hand at the small of her back, one hand bracing himself on the blankets, Elliot thrust into her again – forcing himself to go slowly as he watched the look of wonder and anticipation on her face increase as she got closer to climax.

Olivia's hands dug into his back with a frenzied vigor as she pulled herself into him, wanting him to fill her deeper and completely.

With one final perfect thrust, Elliot drove into her one last time and sensation overflowed his body as he pumped himself into her, hoarsely yelling out her name and her name only in the throes of climax.

Olivia's entire body was primed, set on edge, every muscle quivering seeming to throb out for his touch, ready to explode into ecstasy when he did.

Long, fluid strokes stoked her passion until she screamed out for him, and with one perfect thrust Elliot came into her, filling her completely until her passion overflowed out of her body as she released in climax.

The waves of orgasm traveling all over her body, rendering her limbs weak and her voice hoarse from screaming out her passion. Elliot clung to her tightly as, their bodies staying in perfect rhythm as they peaked together, in intense and perfect accord.

Finally, Olivia came down from the dizzying heights of glory to find herself tucked in close to Elliot's body, feeling his chest explode with hurried breaths as he gazed down at her in the echoing waves of his own completion.

Again, she held up a limp finger to his lips, knowing what he was about to ask. "I'm better than okay" she gasped out, stretching her body in his arms and soaking in the delicious feeling of warmth and well being seep through her like a warm liqueur.

Olivia sighed contentedly and curled even further into Elliot, her head resting on his shoulder, just underneath his chin as his arm kept her close to him and she drifted effortlessly into the most restoring and restful sleep she thought she had ever had for this entire pregnancy.

**So review and maybe I'll be able to dredge up some motivation - but I have work at 4 today so chop chop, hop like a bunny!**


	15. Chapter 15: Unexpected

**Sorry for the wait guys! Horrible horrible writer's block :( In desperate need of some motivation so reviews would be appreciated! Anyway, so PLEASE review! And let me know what you think. **

**But I'll tell you, this perp keeps changing every day I write - but I think it's turning out well. It certainly hasn't been done before! This woman must be a psycho to do all this, but ohhhhhh dear readers another twist awaits! Who is this sick sonofabitch who is so fixated on Olivia? Didn't the attacks start before Liv found out she was pregnant? Haha, and yes, yes the poem was creepy I'm glad it worked so well to give you all goosebumps like you told me :) **

** Anyway, tell me what you think in the comments! **

Elliot and Olivia had spent two glorious weeks at Cragen's cabin. No interruptions or notes from psychotic killers…and then another two weeks at home.

The rest and fresh air had done wonders for Olivia – by the end of their month off she was happy and healthily at 24 weeks pregnant. She'd even gained another ten pounds just in the four weeks they'd been off.

Now it was their first day back at work and they had just finished tag-teaming a suspect on a cold rape case. There hadn't been any activity from the Cradle Robber since they'd been gone, and the crew couldn't help but wonder if it was going to start again now that Olivia and Elliot were back in the public eye, so to speak.

After the suspect had left with his attorney, Olivia came out of the interrogation room and was grimacing as she perched herself on the side of a table.

"Liv, what's wrong?" Cragen shot a look at Elliot who had followed her out of the room.

"Nothing, nothing – the babies are fine and so am I" she reassured everyone. "But she is jammed up in my ribs – ooph. Come on sweetie, be good for mommy and drop down a little".

Elliot came up behind her, wrapping his arms casually around her waist and massaging the top of her stomach, pressing down slightly to see if their daughter would co-operate and shift positions.

"She's as stubborn as her mother" Elliot pointed out, tongue in cheek.

"They both are" Olivia agreed, smiling ruefully. "I think our son has permanently decided that my bladder is the ultimate for kickboxing practice.

"You love it though" Elliot nuzzled her neck playfully and she brought her hand up to his face.

"I do" she said with a brilliant smile. "I do love it – it's all going to be worth it once they're finally here".

"No rush though guys" Munch piped in, looking worriedly at Olivia's almost looking full term belly. "You got another good 14 to 16 weeks to go".

"You're going to have to roll me in here by then" she joked.

Cragen glanced up at the clock; "alright Liv, you've been on duty for the last two and a half hours. Go catch an hour in the crib".

"Captain, I've worked 20 hours and not needed a break" she argued back.

"You weren't pregnant then" Cragen reminded her. "Now go put your feet up, watch Oprah, knit booties. I don't care what you do as long as you do it while you relax".

As Olivia left the room with Elliot she grumbled, "The only thing that sounds relaxing right now is the shooting range for target practice…knitting booties my ass".

But as she slipped off her shoes, her aching back reminded her that she hadn't gotten a ton of sleep last night for being so uncomfortable and that maybe a quick nap might not be such a bad idea.

She'd long since given up sleeping on her stomach, especially now even though she was only 6 months along, carrying the twins made her look, not to mention feel, full term. So she was forced to sleep on her side and only her right side so her uterus didn't compress the vena cava artery that lay alongside it and cut off oxygen to her uterus.

Already, lying on her back had started to make her feel breathless so she'd given up that position as well. The further along she got the worse it would get as her lungs would be even more squished up, along with her entire digestive system and other various organs.

"But you are so worth it babies" she shifted to get in a more comfortable position and rubbed her burgeoning belly. "Mommy is so happy you're growing big and strong my sweethearts" she cooed yawning, her eyes already closing as she dozed off.

After half an hour Elliot opened the door to the Crib carefully, squinting his eyes to adjust to the dimmer light.

His lips quirked up into a smile as he leaned against the doorframe - looking at his wife as she slept.

The tough as nails detective who not an hour ago had reduced a hardened criminal rapist to near tears was lying on her side facing towards him. Her silky hair spread out on the pillow, thick lashed eyes closed peacefully and a barely open mouth framed by lips that looked as though they'd been painted on by cupid himself and a light pink flush covering her sleep filled face.

Bountiful breasts that had swollen and engorged two cup sizes in preparation to nurse the babies, his babies that swelled out her stomach, deeply rounding her with his child.

One hand lay partially closed by her face while the other was tucked beneath her stomach as she slept.

He was so damn lucky, he mused as Olivia sighed in her sleep, looking soft and warm and so deliciously tousled that Elliot would have been tempted to take her right then and there if he didn't know how much she needed the rest.

He closed the door again quietly and Cragen tapped him on the shoulder.

"Elliot…we need to talk".

Confused, Elliot followed Cragen into his office where Munch and Fin were waiting.

"What is this? Captain – what the hell is going on?"

"We finally tracked down all the people who signed in and out of your building the days Olivia got the deliveries. You know that our perp didn't sign in – just left the deliveries and the doorman said it was a man making the deliveries so that's who we've been looking for". The older man started grimly, leaning back on his desk and folding his arms.

"TARU got hold of a security camera from a bodega a little way's down the block. There's only one person who was seen around the apartment the time of the attacks".

Fin grimaced, almost as if apologetic as he reached over to press a key on the laptop. Two side by side images came up, both with different time stamps that correlated with the delivery dates. And in both images there was one figure who could be seen in the corner of both shots.

"We're looking for a woman?" Elliot asked disbelievingly. "Who? …And why?"

"We didn't get her face from the shots, and she's wearing a hoodie so we can't see her hair colour. Looks like she paid a guy to do the deliveries each time" Fin explained grimly.

Cragen continued; "And this perp's MO has been all over the place so we can't even do a decent profile. Who knows what her motive is…I've been working this job almost 40 years – and I've never seen a woman perp go after other women, especially pregnant women. It's completely unprecedented".

"And why Olivia?" Elliot exclaimed, leaning over with both hands on the desk, hanging his head as he wracked his brain for an explanation.

"Why Olivia what?" Olivia appeared in the doorway, a curious smile on her face as she rested her hands casually on her belly, and Elliot's heart broke.

**Leave me some love so I can get around to writing the next chapter! Xo**

**P.s. if any of you are wondering who I am, what I look like, what I think of the new season - check out my vlog on YouTube. I just started doing it and my first vid is amateur and long, but if you're curious it's there! Just search under TheLadyHoll :) Love ya!**


	16. Chapter 16:Closer

**Hey everyone! We're getting close to the story's climax (no sexual pun intended :P lol ) In the next few chapters we're going to meet our mysterious perp in the midst of a nail biting delivery. But that's all you get for now until you comment! **

**10 reviews s'il vous plait si vous voudriez la prochaine chapitre avant le fin de la semaine. (Trying to study french and italian right now and failing miserably as you can tell by the fact I'm doing this instead! haha. But the main gist is that you must review!)**

None of the four men standing in the office seemed to be able to give her an answer so Olivia walked over to the desk, turning the computer screen so she could see what they had been looking at.

"It's a woman…" she frowned, shaking her head. "I never would have guessed – they kept changing their MO so often we could never get a read on them or any kind of a predictive profile".

"Do you recognize her Liv?" Elliot asked.

Olivia shook her head no, "and most of her face is covered anyway. But how does she know so much about me? Where I live, work – that I'm having a baby. She even knows I'm having twins".

She turned to Elliot again, "the only women I'm really close to are Melinda, Alex and Casey. And of course your girls and Kathy – and as much as Kathy might not like me right now I think we can agree she's not capable of this".

"Eurgh!" she slammed her hand down on the desk. "Fuck, I am so tired of this. Who is this woman?" she threw the papers down on the desk and slammed the laptop screen shut.

"Why don't you go and re-interview Shauna Neves?" Cragen suggested, naming the sole survivor of the attacks. One other woman had lived through the attack, but had died from a uterine blood clot a week later while she was in hospital. And the other two had died during the attacks.

"Alright, John you want to come with?" Elliot turned to his partner.

"Oh hell no" Olivia stepped up to Elliot, unable to get right in his face because of her protruding belly. "I'm going with you".

"Liv, don't you think that seeing you…like this" Fin gestured to her stomach "is going to upset her?"

"Maybe" Olivia replied, "but maybe once she finds out that this guy is after me as well she'll open up to us about any more details of her attack".

Cragen nodded thoughtfully, "alright, get going. Let's regroup at 3:00 and go over any more details we may be able to find. Elliot and Olivia, you go interview Ms. Neves. Munch and Fin, I want you to go track down the people who came in and out of the apartment while our mystery woman was hanging around. See if any of them saw anything or can give us more of a description to go on".

A thin, tired looking woman opened the door of the brownstone. Dull, lifeless eyes stared out at them uncomprehendingly for a moment, until a flicker of recognition flared and then hope as she grabbed at Elliot's shirtsleeve.

"Please – have you found my baby?" she swung her head wildly to look over at Olivia.

"N-no, Mrs. Neves we haven't – I'm sorry" Olivia stuttered, hating herself for uttering the words that extinguished the light in the other woman's eyes.

"Oh…Well, what are you here for then if it's not about Julia?" the woman asked, shutting the front door as they walked through to the living room.

Olivia sat down on the couch, wrapping her sweater around herself in the faint hope that it would maybe camouflage her stomach a little bit. It was obvious she was expecting, but the poor woman didn't need Olivia's swollen belly mocking her, reminding her of what she had lost.

Shauna Neves sat down in an armchair, looking almost hungrily at Olivia's belly. Her hand went to her own now-empty womb; the damage from the knife had mangled her belly so that she didn't know if she could conceive again. And the leftover hormones from her abruptly ended pregnancy had faded slowly, leaving her midsection still somewhat plump, not having completely returned to its normal shape.

"When are you due?" the shell of a woman asked Olivia hoarsely.

Liv glanced quickly up at Elliot, "I'm due early August actually. I'm uh…I'm expecting twins" Olivia winced as she saw pain tear across the other woman's face.

Olivia couldn't even begin to imagine what Shauna Neves must be feeling. To wake up and be told that her unborn child had been ripped so severely from her that the trauma to her reproductive system might have left her unable to conceive; and not being able to mourn and go on with her life because there was no body.

Instead, Shauna Neves and her husband were left in a constant state of fluctuating emotions. Hope that their baby was still alive somewhere and the despair that there was a good chance their little girl hadn't even taken her first breath.

Again, Olivia found herself pathetically grateful that she had Elliot – not only today beside her on the couch but that he had been so unswervingly steadfast and dedicated and loving throughout her entire pregnancy.

As strong as Olivia knew herself to be, she was so glad she was able to lean on Elliot when she needed to, knowing that he would always be there for her.

Seeing Olivia's discomfiture Elliot cleared his throat and continued the conversation. "Ms. Neves, I can't even imagine how hard this has been for you, but we need to ask you a few more questions about your attack. Do you remember anything, anything at all that you didn't mention to the police?"

The blonde woman broke down sobbing, horrible animal like keening sounds of grief issuing from her mouth. "J-just f-flashes – I woke up for a few seconds, a-and I could feel who-whoever it was pull apart the slit in my belly. I passed out and a moment later I opened my eyes again to see a tiny little arm flail out before everything went black again".

"You started to haemorrhage. You lost a lot of blood" Olivia nodded corroborating her story.

The woman paused a moment, her shoulders shaking as she drew in a shuddering breath – a soaked tissue clenched in her fist as she met the two detectives' eyes again. "I - " Shauna Neves broke off for a moment, her eyes widening but she shook her head as she looked back up.

"I just remembered something" she whispered looking horrified, "I never, I mean I didn't remember this before now…"

"What is it Shauna?" Olivia leaned forward slightly in her seat.

"The nails" Shauna went on to explain. "The nails were short, but…they felt fake. I used to be an aesthetician so I know what they feel like. But that doesn't make sense, why would a man have fake nails? God, maybe I'm imagining things".

"Anything you even think you might remember could be important Mrs. Neves – even if you think it doesn't make sense" Elliot handed her another copy of his business card. "Call us if anything else comes to mind".

Elliot and Olivia stood up to leave and the distressed looking woman held open the door; "And you'll e sure to call me when…if…"

Elliot nodded solemnly and Shauna closed the door, they could hear the latch of multiple locks behind them.

"Well the nails make sense if it was a woman" Olivia offered as they drove back towards the precinct.

"Mmhmm" Elliot replied deep in thought.

He came around to the side of the car to help Olivia out when they got back to the station house; it had gotten to the point now where Olivia almost couldn't get out of the low slung cop cruiser without help. In the next few weeks it was likely she'd lose the ability to do it even with difficulty.

As Olivia stood up Elliot pulled her into his arms, holding her as closely as he could given her giant belly.

"I can't lose you Liv…I'm so scared of losing you, either through something going wrong with the pregnancy or with this sadist out on the loose but I couldn't stand it if I lost you" he whispered fiercely, forcing the image of a broken and battered Olivia out of his mind.

"You're not going to lose me El, with this stomach I don't think anybody could lose me" she weakly attempted a joke, but it fell flat.

She brought his hands down to her belly and pressed them to her bulging sides firmly; Elliot could have wept with how beautiful and precious the sight and feel of his children in Olivia's belly was to him.

He took her with his mouth again, as if he could keep her alive and well and safe with the injection of his life force and soul into her.

God, he would do anything for this woman. If he could willingly go out at 2:30 in the morning in the pouring rain to find white chocolate minty pretzels and come back to the apartment only to find Olivia sound asleep then there was nothing he wouldn't do.

He smiled slightly as they walked back into the station together, remembering how he had gotten back around 4 am, soaked and exhausted but triumphant to have found a place that sold the particular brand she liked.

And then to walk in holding the bag aloft only to find her snoring softly in the armchair in the living room where she'd been waiting up for him, a blanket lying haphazardly over the mound of her enormous tummy. The baby book she'd been reading lying on the floor beside her like it had fallen out of her hand when she'd drowsed off.

Yup, Elliot Stabler was definitely whipped, owned by a certain brown eyed brunette and petite pregnant powerhouse that was Olivia. And the damned thing was, he thought to himself as they walked back to Cragen's office, was that he wouldn't have it any other way.

And there was no way he was going to let anyone take her away from him, or hurt her. Not while he still had breath in his body, rules and consequences be damned…

**Hey! Hey you! Look, right down there, probably somewhere just below THIS word is a super nifty button that says REVIEW. Press it, and magical dancing ponies will come out and grant you 3 wishes! Well no, but you will get the next chapter faster :) So do it!**


	17. Chapter 17: So Worth It

_**This chapter is dedicated in honor of Andrew Nicolas Hargitay-Hermann, the newest precious addition to our favourite family! So happy for Mariska & Peter. It's a Triple A family with August, Amaya & Andrew! SOOOO much love going out to them! Gah! I'm so thrilled for them everyone in the University of Toronto library is wondering why there's this idiot grinning from ear to ear - it's me! XOXO**_

**Hey Lovelies! New SVU today, if everyone comments maybe there'll be a new chapter up for this story too! Just maybe... ;)**

**P.s. Hailey you kill me :P LOVE your comments - Here's one of your wishes come true: more eo sweetness...and smut - because, well...who doesn't love some good old fashioned 'in the car' lovin'. lol**

**So review away! 10 more to go until the next chapters up!**

Olivia cringed as the doctor disappeared behind the mountain of her belly, cheerfully chattering on while he probed inside her with a cold speculum.

"Mmhmm, yup – everything looks good. Cervix is still nice and firm for a twin pregnancy at this stage. The babies' readings show two good strong heartbeats and they still seem to be gaining weight and growing so we know the placenta's haven't aged out" Dr. Katz continued, withdrawing his hand and slipping off the glove – tossing it in a wastebasket.

"Growing is right" Olivia groaned, feeling unattractively like a turtle as Elliot helped her to sit up. At 33 weeks, Olivia had lost all ability to bend in the middle due to the mind staggeringly, well at least to her, circumference of her abdomen.

"I feel like I'm going to split open like a watermelon" she griped.

"Well that would make less work for me during your C-section" the doctor chuckled as he pressed his knuckles firmly into the engorged white flesh of her bare belly.

"So there's – ooph – no chance of me having a vaginal delivery?" Olivia asked as the man felt out the babies positions inside her, as if she couldn't tell from the pressure and kicks from inside her.

"No, I'm afraid with your age and prenatal history it's too dangerous to attempt a natural birth. There's still the issue of your blood pressure, you're still in the normal range but on the high side. And, Baby B feels like he or she is a footling breech, not head down like Baby A who's still sitting pretty high".

"And using my ribs like a ladder" Olivia added ruefully.

Elliot watched carefully as the doctor placed his stethoscope on Olivia's back and instructed her to breathe deeply. She was only able to inhale consistently for about 3 seconds before she would become breathless.

"How are you finding sleeping?" Dr. Katz asked, ticking off a box on the previous line.

"Difficult" Olivia answered, while Elliot shot her a glance saying that she wasn't being completely honest. So he continued for her.

"Some nights, damn near impossible. She can't lie on her back, lying on her side – doesn't matter which one – makes her feel even more breathless so she either tosses or turns constantly, or sleeps partially propped up. A couple times she's fallen asleep in the armchair watching tv and she'll get a better sleep there than she would in bed".

The older man nodded, feeling Olivia's glands and telling her to inhale and exhale again. "Yes that's fairly common, all the organs pushing everything upwards".

"And" Elliot continued, "She's been having terrible heartburn to the point where she'll gag at anything – and sometimes she's just in so much pain and discomfort that she cries".

Now it was Olivia's turn to shoot Elliot a look; one that clearly said for him to shut up.

Finally, the doctor finished the physical exam and flipped several pages over in Olivia's chart.

"As unpleasant as it is, what you're experiencing is fairly normal for a first time high risk pregnancy for a woman in her forties. Just try and keep her as comfortable as you can. Warm – not hot, baths and a good back or foot rub can go a long way in reducing a mother's stress and easing some of the discomfort of the last trimester. I do, however want you to keep charting and keeping an eye on your blood pressure – make sure it doesn't creep up anymore".

"We were actually planning on going up to a friend's cottage for two weeks as a kind of last 'breather' before the baby. Is Olivia okay to travel? It's just two hours out of the city and we'd be back before she hits 36 weeks" Elliot put in as Olivia focused owlishly on sliding her swollen feet into the flip flops that were just out of her reach on the footstool she had used to clamber up rather ungracefully onto the table.

"I don't foresee any problems with your trip – obviously flying is not recommended during the last trimester but as long as you take small breaks every half hour or so for her to stretch out and use the restroom and avoid activities like waterskiing or rock-climbing then I think it's an excellent idea" Dr. Katz reassured them as he opened the door for them to leave.

Two days later they were on the road headed for Cragen's cottage – or at least trying to be on the road. Elliot had already pulled over once for Olivia to use the restroom and they'd only been driving 20 minutes.

Olivia clambered ungraciously back into the truck. It was close to 42 degrees C out and it was making her absolutely miserable.

Elliot watched half worriedly, half amusedly as she arranged herself back in the passenger seat.

She was wearing a t-shirt that didn't quite cover her belly despite the fact that it was maternity and a pair of cargo shorts with the stretched out elastic waistband pushed down beneath the bump. He thought she was absolutely adorable – she didn't agree.

She'd slipped her shoes off once she'd gotten back in the car and Elliot eyed her ankles shrewdly, his fingers itching for the blood pressure cuff.

Olivia shot him a glare, licking cheesy powder off her fingers as she rummaged around in the cooler. "Don't even think about it El".

"They're swollen, Olivia" he argued back.

"Yes, my feet and legs are swollen and grotesque. They've also been that way since I was 5 months pregnant – as much as it galls me, and you – they're allowed to be. It's just my face and other extremities that it's a problem if they swell".

"Mmm" Elliot replied before easily changing the topic. "I think our babies are going to come out of the womb jonesing for Cheesies" he teased, looking at the empty packages around Olivia.

"Oh shut up" she threw a Cheesie at him and he ducked it, laughing – reaching over to run his hand over the swell of her belly.

"How are our babies today?"

Elliot smiled as Olivia visibly melted, as she did every time she talked about the babies.

Grinning widely she pushed her shirt up a little further to show Elliot her whole belly proudly.

"They're doing good. Mr. B is over here in the very bottom front and Miss A is still at the top but her feet are in my ribs which is killing me but I'm still getting more than 10 kicks per hour for each of them which is what Dr. Katz wanted to see".

Her fingers traced idly over the bright red stretch marks that spread all over her belly, even up to her breasts despite daily rubbings-in of stretch mark cream.

"And how's mama?" Elliot asked, pushing back a strand of hair that had fallen forwards and was sticking to her face with sweat.

"Very sore…and tired, and large… but very very happy that our miracles are healthy and growing big and strong" she said happily, patting her distended belly fondly.

"Have I ever told you how completely in love with you I am?" Elliot replaced his hand on her cheek with his lips, moving to her collarbone and sliding his tongue over the sensitive patch of skin just behind her ear.

Olivia shivered slightly with arousal, writhing gently in her seat and moaning as Elliot's mouth performed its own miracles on her body.

"You are the only man who could ever make me want to screw him so badly when I'm this big and uncomfortable and pregnant" she felt Elliot's lips curve into a smile against her skin as he continued.

"You, oh God El…Y-you know how, ah, all the hormones and extra blood volume have made me, oh my…just – a – little – more ohhh easily stimulated" she stuttered, unable to stop herself from holding his head to her, pressing him to her breasts as they were stopped at a red light.

"You" Elliot punctuated each word with a kiss that left Olivia gasping hungrily for more, "are the most desirable, sexy, I've never wanted to fuck anything so hard in my life woman I have ever known or seen in all my life. It's insane how hard I get whenever I'm around you".

Olivia whimpered now, almost beyond words as she silently begged him to love her with his mouth and hands.

They'd come to a slow part of the road, the city clogged with outgoing traffic so Elliot reached over again; one hand molding possessively to her hard belly while he kissed her breathless again, not that that was hard to do these days.

The soft, needy sighs and sounds coming from Olivia's mouth drove him to distraction until his hand slid beneath the waistband of her shorts, lightly fingering the clenched fabric between her legs – able to feel her dampening heat through it.

"God Liv, are you trying to kill me?" he brushed his knuckles against the tight curls and she arched against him helplessly, trying to push him in further.

He let one finger stroke the slick folds of skin, skimming across the swollen nub of her femininity providing irresistible friction and he could feel her pulse and swell beneath his hand.

Olivia groaned in need and squeezed her thighs together but he gently opened them wider, keeping up the hot, heady rhythm that was driving her wild.

He could feel the first flickers of orgasm in her body, see it on her face and in the way she shivered with pleasure as his speed increased.

Olivia shuddered and cried out as she was swept over the brink, caught up in the endless waves of ecstasy rolling over her and taking over her body, sweeping any tiredness and pain out of her body to be replaced with a slow, curling languorous sense of satiation as her eyes finally opened again.

"You make me come so easily", she turned her head where it was resting on the headrest to face Elliot.

"Likewise – and I plan on doing so constantly for the next two weeks" came his reply, deep and rumbling with need and hidden meaning.

Olivia smiled ruefully, pressing a hand to where one of the babies had kicked, "If I go to term this will be the longest I think we've ever gone without sex since getting married, even with the periods of bed rest I've been on" she mused thoughtfully.

"So if we stop a week earlier than the doctor suggested, just to be on the safe side that puts us at 35 weeks right at the end of our trip – and then another 5 if I go to 40 weeks and then 6 weeks after the babies are born. So that's what – a possible maximum of 11 weeks? Wow…"

Elliot pretended to grimace as he threw a fond glance over at his wife, "Which is exactly why I plan on ravishing you daily until the end of our trip. No…no, make that hourly" he teased before growing serious.

"I'll do anything I can to keep you and these babies safe Liv, that's worth more to me than almost 3 months of celibacy".

"Mmm" Olivia flicked a mischievous glance up at her husband, "but the rules don't say one – single – thing about other ways we can pleasure each other, ways I can pleasure you that don't require the usual…equipment".

"You know, being a cop I have a higher chance of dying young…But in my case, the autopsy report is going to the cause of death was sexual excitement or exhaustion" he teased back.

"Mmm, no dying" Olivia mumbled sleepily, wriggling down in her seat to lay her head on Elliot's shoulder while he drove.

Her breathing grew heavy and Elliot leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head; "I'm never leaving you, Liv…ever".

**So review away! 10 more to go until the next chapters up! **


	18. Chapter 18: Tension

**Hey everybody! Here's the next chapter, doubly long for you all :) I have an 8 hour shift at work today so leave me some reviews to read when I get back! Lots of love to you all, and if you haven't already, check out my vlogs/channel on Youtube :) for all your EO and SVU fantasies and news. Xo**

Olivia lay sprawled out on the bed in the cabin, rubbing ice cubes over her face and neck when Elliot came back in from his run one morning.

"Awake but no better, huh?" he remarked as he grabbed two water bottles from the fridge, handing one to Olivia as he came into the bedroom.

"I slept for maybe 20 minutes after you left, God can you imagine what the heat must be like in the city if it's this bad out here? Ugh, I don't even want to think about it".

Elliot stopped as he came through the door, "Liv?" he had a strange expression on his face.

"What?" she struggled to sit up against the pillows and Elliot came to sit down on the bed beside her.

He touched the back of his hand to her cheek before lifting her hands and examining them.

"Liv, you're really swollen up" he said seriously, his eyes searching hers. "Your face is bright red…how are you feeling?"

Olivia shrugged, reaching for a compact in her purse that sat on the side table. She gasped at what she saw, she barely recognized herself. Her features were mottled and changed by the puffiness in her face and she stared down at her free hand, noticing the same change there.

Elliot had moved to the foot of the bed and was flexing and rotating her ankles. "There's a lot more edema than yesterday Liv, even than this morning. I can feel it pitting under my fingers" he paused a moment more before continuing.

"I'm going to call in to the sheriff to see if there are any local doctors or nurses who'll come out here tonight and check you out. There's no reason to stress you out or raise your blood pressure any higher by driving needlessly back into the city. We still have a week before the doctor has cleared you for possible delivery and another 3 until the C-section date".

Elliot strode out of the room to go outside where there was better reception and Olivia focused on calming breathing exercises she'd learned from the childbirth books she was reading. At not even 35 weeks it was still too dangerous to allow the babies to come, which was why they had to get her blood pressure down before she developed preeclampsia and her womb became too toxic an environment for her babies.

Before long, Elliot came back into the room. "It's going to be okay Liv, it's probably just the combination of heat and advanced pregnancy that's causing your blood pressure to be so high. A registered nurse-midwife who comes highly recommended by the town doctor will be here soon to check you and the peanuts out". He kissed the top of her head.

"People don't know what they're asking when they tell someone to relax…I can't relax. I need them to stay in my belly for a little longer but at the same time I'm sick and tired of feeling so sick and tired and I just cannot wait to be holding them in my arms instead of my belly". She lay back against Elliot, wincing as a Braxton-Hicks contraction tightened her tummy in a vise, turning it rock hard.

Elliot noticed her discomfort and started to rub her belly in slow circles until the fake contraction had abated. She'd been getting Braxton Hicks since her seventh month so they weren't an issue except for the fact that they could be quite painful.

Olivia exhaled slowly, "I think this is the first time I've been glad about having a C-section. If these fake contractions are so miserable then I can't even imagine what the real thing would feel like".

She groaned softly as the tightness squeezing her hard round belly abated, leaving only the comforting warmth and strength of Elliot's hand against her and the babies.

"Do you think you could eat anything?" he asked softly, turning her slightly so he could work out the knots in her shoulders and back she had all the time now from carrying so much weight so far out front.

"I have gained fifty two pounds Elliot…fifty two! 20 pounds of that in the last two months alone despite the morning, noon and night sickness our children have blessed me with. I'm never going to be the lithe, lean woman you conceived these babies with. I'm a blimp…or a hippo, or a walrus…" she bemoaned.

"Did I say I wanted a lithe, lean, woman? I much, MUCH, prefer the walrus – kinky right?" he teased her as he nuzzled her neck.

"Mmm, very" she agreed as his fingers pressed deeply into the base of her spine, prompting a moan of relief from the pressure there.

Elliot lay back, propping himself up one one elbow to look at her and pursed his lips slightly in thought. His brow furrowing in that oh so familiar way it did whenever he was thinking or worried about something.

"Maybe we should just get you home – in case you need to go into hospital for your blood pressure" he took the ice out of Olivia' s hand and ran it down the length of her arm instead.

Olivia shivered, feeling her body react to the icy water drops and Elliot's touch – a delicious sensation of fire and ice that despite being heavily pregnant made her body cry out for him.

"I want you" she admitted breathlessly. "Remember how my blood pressure went down the last time we did this?"

Elliot's blue eyes flared hot with desire, "I remember…you sure you're feeling up to it?"

"Only if you're planning on doing a lot of the work" she spread her arms out wide teasingly. "Take me Elliot Stabler – if you can" she added ruefully, raising an eyebrow as she looked down at her abdomen.

As awkward as her body felt at the moment, Olivia watched as Elliot loved her with his hands – his eyes roaming over her body hungrily. He made her feel sexy; earthy and feminine in her current 'bovine' condition as she called it.

But there was no mistaking the love and admiration shining out of his eyes for her and Olivia didn't want to, couldn't wait any longer.

Elliot had ingeniously found a position that was comfortable, not to mention possible, for Olivia to make love in. But as he began to enter her, he noticed her face contort in a quick grimace – a whimper of pain escaping from her tightly clenched lips.

"I wanna make love to you so bad" she closed her eyes, tipping her head back as the tears fell. But I'm so sore and so swollen even down there - that it hurts".

Elliot cupped her face in his hands, moving over to the side of the bed. "It's okay Liv-" he started to say, but Olivia shook her head almost in near tears.

"It's not alright. I'm tired, and huge and in near constant pain and I want to make love to my husband without having to imitate the entire repertoire of a Russian gymnastics team and I want to just fucking give birth already – I want my babies safe in my arms, I don't want to be scared anymore I want to be me again" she pleaded with him.

"Oh Liv…I – I can't say I know or I understand because I can't, and because you'd hit me" he added mock seriously staring into her eyes.

"But one thing I can say to you is that I have never seen a woman handle anything so hard so well. Every single day you amaze me and move me with your strength and your love – and I can't wait to see our beautiful babies, the miracles you've given me. Thank you Olivia for giving them to me".

"Why are you the only man who can make me cry" Olivia sniffed, closing her eyes in comfort as she felt a feather light press of Elliot's lips to her forehead.

"As I recall, the mailman made you cry two weeks ago" he teased her.

She flushed and swatted at him half heartedly, "my magazine subscription was late. What do you expect me to do in my copious amounts of free time if I don't have my People?"

Elliot's cell rang, but he stayed in bed to answer it, using one arm to cuddle Olivia into his shoulder.

"Yes, this is Elliot Stabler. Yes I'm the one who called for a doctor. No, she's not in labour but she has hypertension and she's carrying twins at a high risk…Uh huh – yeah road 13 cut off. Fine, I'll be there soon".

He turned back to Olivia, grimacing at his phone which he slid back into his back pocket. "The midwife's car broke down a couple miles out from here. I'm just going to pick her up, there's a storm coming in and the tow company doesn't know when they'll be able to get to her car but the sheriff's offered to drive her back once she'd finished here. Are you going to be okay if I'm gone for an hour or two?"

"Yes, El, we'll be fine" she patted her mountainous belly "these guys aren't going anywhere anytime soon and neither am I, even if I was capable of it. Go…" she urged him. "I can hold down the fort or at my blood pressure until you get back. I'll probably even eat something although I know I'll regret it later. So stop worrying".

"Not when I have 3 of the most precious things in my life that I need to worry about" Elliot kissed her in goodbye as he headed out the door.

"I'll probably be back before the storm hits but all the porch shutters are closed so you should be okay even if I'm not".

"Go!" Olivia called out laughingly "the big bad wolf isn't going to steal me away while you're gone…he'd throw out his back".

She watched as Elliot drove away and grabbed a snack from the fridge before settling down on the sofa. As she tried to get comfortable the dull ache that she'd been feeling all day in her back twinged painfully. "Oh sure now that daddy's gone you guys decide to act up in there? No more kicking mommy's spine okay? I think I actually preferred the rib-shots".

Twenty minutes into the movie she was watching, the storm started in earnest. Torrents of rain slashed against the cabin, whipping tree branches against the window with a merciless wind.

Snug and safe on the inside Olivia turned to look at the storm through one set of large bay windows. Noticing it hadn't been shut all the way Olivia hefted herself to her feet so that no more water could get in and ruin the hardwood floors.

"Crap" – lightning flashed and the power went out, and with it all the lighting not to mention Olivia's movie.

Luckily Cragen kept a store of long lasting emergency candles in a cabinet with cleaning supplies so she set more than a dozen out, filling the room with a soft flickering light.

As she straightened up from bending over to light the last candle, her back twinged again – this time sending radiating pain from the base of her spine around to her navel, and with it a sinister pulling sensation from her core.

Dropping the lighter, she leaned on the banister – breathing heavily until the worst of the pain had passed.

"I get it, I get it sweet babies. You want mommy to slow down, okay, okay mommy's going to go rest now okay" her voice came out hoarse and breathless with fear.

Walking carefully back over to the couch since it was the closest piece of furniture she could stretch out on Olivia did some deep breathing exercises, closing her eyes and rubbing her belly slowly, trying to calm the babies down.

Halfway to the couch the world tilted and the floor came up to meet her only for her to reach her hands out just in time to keep from crashing face first into the floor.

The buzzing in her ears and her erratically fluttering heartbeat told her instantly what was happening. Alone in a cabin, during a storm – she, Olivia Benson-Stabler was experiencing the sudden onset symptoms of preeclampsia which she could already tell was affecting the babies from the way her womb was clenching spastically.

As long as her water didn't break, labour could be stopped if it had already started.

She crawled over to the couch, her belly so large it almost touched the floor as she did.

She was so dizzy, she thought, spots of light dancing in front of her eyes as she swallowed back a gulp of nausea. She felt so faint that she was scared if she tried to stand to get over to the phone she would fall and injure the babies even further so she shakily crawled onto the couch, praying that Elliot and the midwife would get back and help her.

She had either drifted off or passed out when she awoke suddenly with a hard knocking at the door.

"Hello? Mrs. Stabler? It's Viiola Bonnes, the midwife" a voice called out.

"I managed to start my car before your husband got too far down the mountain; I radioed the sheriff's office so they could call him and let him know. He should be here in about a half hour" the female voice continued.

Before Olivia could reply, a searing ripping pain tore across her lower belly, forcing out a groaning cry from her lips.

The door to the cabin opened and a petite blond woman stepped through into the living room.

"Oh dear, looks like someone's in labour!" the woman smiled, rummaging in her bag for gloves and a thermometer.

"Now, you said you've been diagnosed with hypertension? Okay that's what probably brought on your labour so early. Has your water broken?"

Olivia spoke through clenched teeth through the pain, "N-no, th-that means we ca-can still s-top the labour…get to a-a hospital".

"P-please – can you call Elliot? A-and Dr. Katz? The n-number's are by the telephone" Olivia struggled to sit up, gripping her belly as it turned rock hard once more.

"Power's out remember Olivia? Don't worry I'll help you".

"You – You don't understand…I can't have a natural birth. I'm schedule-unghh -scheduled for a caesarean in 2 weeks. One of the babies is breech and my blood pressure is too high, labour will cut off the oxygen to the babies. You have to help me stop it" she begged the woman.

But before she could finish her train of thought, the woman started to slide her maternity yoga pants off. "I'm just going to examine you and make sure you're not dilated".

Olivia nodded, biting her lip to keep from crying out as the woman roughly shoved her gloved hand between her legs.

"Stop! Stop – what are you doing?" she cried out in pain and confusion as the woman crudely spread her legs even wider.

"A whore not willing to spread her legs? That's a first" the woman snarled coldly, her grip on Olivia's thighs tightening.

"Oh my god" Olivia thrashed and fought against the woman as she tried to get up, but the woman held her down.

"You…" her eyes widened in terror, "the cradle robber…but why?"

**Oh my Go-! What? Now? Without Elliot? in a cabin on a mountaintop with no electricity and a serial killer? Review to find out if everyone makes it!**


	19. Chapter 19: Paralyzing

**Glad to see so many of you enjoyed the last chapter - or at least felt passionate enough about it to review! Here's the next installment, if you're good and I get 10 reviews again maybe you'll get another chapter tonight or tomorrow :) xoxo**

Hands still in her medical bag, Viiola Bonnes looked up and as she drew her hands out she held a gun.

"You know this…this is working out even better than I expected" she mused, eyes glittering with a sick kind of malice.

Olivia stared at her for a moment until something in her mind clicked… "Oh my God, you're one of the nurses from the clinic, from Dr. Katz' office. That's how you knew all that information about me; about my mother…it was all on my medical record".

"Very good detective" the woman mocked her.

"But why?" Olivia continued, needing to hear the answer even though her vision was blurring and her mind felt foggy from the rise in her blood pressure.

"Why me? And why those other women and their babies?

"Isn't it obvious? I see women come into the clinic every day who shouldn't be mothers. Prostitutes, junkies…their kids are just going to grow up to be just like them. We don't need more human filth clogging up the healthcare system, I can't even afford fertility treatment because of all the money the city is spending rehabbing these unworthy whores".

"So that's what this is about?" Olivia's breath came in small fast pants now. "You c-can't get pregnant, so you kill women who are who you think don't deserve to be?"

"I-I'd be a good mom. I love my babies – I'd do anything for them" Olivia pleaded with the woman, whose hands were shaking as she held the gun close to Olivia's head – her finger trembling so close to the trigger Olivia was scared she would set it off accidentally.

"Maybe…maybe your kids would take after their grandfather. I see the result of bad genes all day long at the clinic. And besides, I had my eye on you before you even found out you were pregnant. You were sticking your nose where it didn't belong by investigating the deaths of those women".

"Murders, Viiola, they were murders".

The woman snorted instead of growing angrier as Olivia had predicted. She grabbed Olivia by the arm and dragged her off the couch and over to the window, foggy with condensation.

She wrote out her name with her finger on the window and Olivia saw it.

"Viiola Bonnes, I should have known – with the two I's" Olivia whispered hoarsely as her mind rearranged the letters to spell out 'Olivia Benson'.

"Please, please just go – I don't know your name, you can clean away your fingerprints. Just don't, don't hurt my babies – I" Olivia fell to her knees in the middle of the room as water poured out of her, running down her legs and pooling on the hardwood floor like the rain that had come in the windows.

"The fact that you're pregnant now is just a happy happy coincidence" the woman smiled calmly as she looked down at Olivia with satisfaction as her water broke, spilling in copious amounts over the floor.

"I guess you know now that I'm not the midwife you sent for…your husband won't be back anytime soon…It was me who called from the road. And I doubt if any midwife is going to make a trip up the mountain in this storm for a non-emergency call. So I guess when morning comes they'll walk into a nice little surprise".

Olivia was sobbing now, her babies would die. Her water had broken, that meant they needed to be born now. But they were too little to come out yet, their lungs hadn't fully matured at the last doctor's appointment and they both weighed under 5 lbs. each.

Even if she managed to give birth alone and the babies lived, they wouldn't live long without immediate medical attention, and the doctor had said Olivia was at risk for haemorrhage during the birth after all the complications she had already had with this pregnancy.

The lean blonde woman smiled and cocked her head as she watched Olivia's eyes widen in panic with the realization that she was in real, actual labour.

"You know, I'd planned to treat you like the rest? Cut the babies from you and leave you to die. But you know? I'm rather liking this new twist. I think I'll leave you here for your husband to find…won't that be a scene. Him walking in to see you cold and lifeless on the floor, maybe having given birth – the bastards you carried for too short a time in your belly, stiff in your arms…"

She crouched down next to Olivia and dug her hands and nails deeply into her stomach.

"Yup, still breech and transverse. No way those babies are going to be born alive; and you killed them Olivia – remember that. Not me, not an accident…you. Because you failed as a mother before your children were even born by not being able to control your own body".

Wracked by pain and shocked into silence by the overwhelming urge she suddenly felt to push, Olivia couldn't speak.

"Goodbye, Olivia…I wonder what the tombstone will say? Hmm…beloved wife and – well not so cherished mother now is it? How does it feel to murder your own children, Olivia?" were the last words out of the monster's mouth before she disappeared out the door into the storm.

Olivia crawled across the floor, slipping in the slick patches of wetness from the rain and amniotic fluid.

She reached up an arm to grab an afghan from the couch, wrapping it around her shoulders tightly – praying that Elliot would get back soon with the car so that maybe, maybe their babies could be saved.

She knew that the only 'cure' per say for her high blood pressure was delivery. But the babies might still have a chance of surviving if she could hold off giving birth until she was at a hospital where they were set up for preemies and had the oxygen and special lights they would need if they were to have any chance of survival, even at the cost of hers.

Lying on the floor, gritting her teeth together with the effort it was taking not to push, Olivia sent desperate prayers upwards.

"Please God, please – let my babies live. They're not the ones who should suffer, they haven't done anything wrong. They're innocent" she sobbed harder, "they're so small and innocent – God you couldn't be so cruel as to give me, give us this gift and then take it away. Let them be okay Lord, please let them be okay".

Her prayer was cut short, ending in a gurgling kind of cry as Olivia felt an unbelievable pressure crushing her pelvis. Suddenly, she realized what that pressure was.

She forced herself to her feet, trying to give the babies as much space as she could in her womb so they weren't propelled downwards – but it was no use.

Holding on to the fireplace mantelpiece with one hand, Olivia reached down and felt something solid at the line of her pubic bone; the baby's head was almost there. It was so close – just resting inside her body.

One push and the head would almost certainly be born. She cried out again as her uterus relentlessly contracted, forcing the baby down the birth canal into the cold cruel world where he wasn't protected in the relative shelter of her belly.

Elliot could barely see out the truck's windows, but that didn't make him release any pressure on the gas as he sped back up the mountainsides – the tires of the car at times spinning dangerously in the water and mud, threatening to skid out of control.

50 minutes after he'd left Olivia, the midwife had called again – her cell phone battery had died so she wasn't able to call earlier. She hadn't even left town, and she wouldn't in this storm.

Elliot had yelled and pleaded with her, offered her money but her answer was a firm no. She said if Olivia was in trouble the only thing they could do was get her to a hospital. Her medical history was too complicated to treat normally.

Elliot had thrown down the cell phone, not even bothering to end the call as the tires squealed on the wet pavement as he turned an immediate 180 degrees back to the cabin.

If the midwife had never left town, then whoever had called him from the road was just trying to lure him away from the cabin, away from Olivia.

And whoever it was could be there right now, hurting her. Elliot didn't have a name, but he knew it must be the cradle robber. It was a woman on the phone so it made sense and he put two and two together.

He never should have left with Olivia so sick. He should have just driven her down back into the city and to the closest emergency room.

But the 3 hour drive would have only spiked her blood pressure higher, possibly sending her into pre-term labour.

Oh God, his whirling thoughts collided to one conclusion. Whoever was at the cabin had the intent of harming Olivia, and even if she'd been able to fight them off the stress of the situation would have sent her into a full blown attack of hypertension, maybe even preeclampsia. And if that were the case, she needed to deliver immediately.

He made it back up the mountain in record time, even though he had had to run the last 3 kilometres. The storm had made the back roads impassable and his tires had sunk in the mud.

He grabbed his cell phone and the scanner radio out of the backseat and headed out into the pouring rain, not even stopping to take the keys out of the car.

As he ran, he tried to get through the police scanner radio to call for help – he needed a Medi-vac helicopter airlift for Olivia if he was going to get her off of this mountain tonight.

Finally he thought he heard the faint crackle of a voice and decided if he could hear that voice, the other voice might be able to hear him. His cell phone was of no use, it looked like a couple of power lines had gone down and he couldn't get a signal.

He radioed in multiple times as he ran, yelling to whoever out there was listening, police or otherwise that he needed an emergency airlift for a pregnant cop off of Percy mountain.

Elliot could just make out the faint outline of the cabin on the hill when he got a clear response. The radio operator told him that a chopper was on its way, but it was still several hours out because of another call. And the roads were impassable so no ambulances could get up to the cabin and neither could his truck get down.

He saw a newer set of tire tracks that hadn't been completely washed away by the rain and his heart froze anew – starting again to beat so painfully in his chest he thought it might explode.

**Still? Theladyholl still? You're not giving us any breaks here are you? What happened to Olivia? When we last saw her she was in the process of giving birth to her first baby - what's happened now? lol**


	20. Chapter 20: Desperate Birth

**I know you all don't like the cliffhangers, but wow are they ever a way to get reviews! **

**Anyway, glad you're loving it as much as I'm loving writing it :) Don't forget to keep up the reviews! And here's a little tidbit - our encounters with the cradle robber's crimes are not completely over. Do with that what you will :P xo**

Throwing open the door to the cabin Elliot didn't think he'd ever been so scared in his life.

Scared seemed such an inadequate word, there just wasn't one for what he was feeling.

He didn't know what he would do if he entered the cabin to find Olivia's broken lifeless body – and he couldn't imagine the horror of seeing those brown eyes dull and void of life, of the spark that was Olivia.

But before his eyes could adjust to the candlelight, a desperate sobbing keening started up from the next room. The way the sound tore at his heart he knew it had to be Olivia – she was alive.

By now Olivia was so weak and dizzy that when she first looked up at the door she thought she'd been dreaming, or dead or both.

But the next of the labour pangs brought her focus back to painful clarity and she realized that it wasn't the cradle robber come back like had been her first thought – but Elliot. Dirty and soaking wet but looking like a god or some terrifying angel illuminated by the candlelight filling the cabin.

Elliot crossed the floor in two strides and fell to his knees in front of Olivia, who had shakily gotten to her feet at the sound of the door thinking it was the woman again.

She stood crouched in the middle of the room, her hand cupped between her legs as if she were holding the baby in; and the counter pressure her hand provided was the only thing stopping their baby from being imminently born.

Sweat glistened and dripped down her face, mingling with the terrified tears that clawed at her chest as she fought against them.

"Elliot" she gasped, only able to speak in the respite of a contraction. "Baby…the baby's right there – I, I wanna oh, I want to push".

"The roads are washed out, we can't get a chopper in until morning" he brushed her hair back away from her face.

"How long have you been in labour?"

"My water broke a-an hour ago, ohhhhhh God Elliot he's coming, he's coming – I can't" she groaned, panting shallowly as Elliot's hand gently removed her own from between her legs.

"The baby can't be here yet Liv, it just feels that way" he soothed her. But as he knelt in front of her and replaced her hand with his.

The baby's head was already crowning. Olivia squeezed her eyes shut and tried to stop herself from pushing. But the contractions felt like they were pulling the air from her lungs and she strained to breathe, each breath she managed to take feeling like a knife in her chest and a tightening noose around her belly.

"Oh my God" Elliot still looked like he was in shock as his hand cupped the outline of the tiny head emerging from Olivia's body.

"Help me" Olivia begged, her entire body trembling with the effort not to push, "Elliot help me".

"It's okay Liv, just let him come" Elliot found his voice and looked up at Olivia. "There's nothing we can do to stop the labour" he encouraged her as she shook her head sobbing.

"No, we have to get to the hospital Elliot – they're too little".

Elliot reached up his free hand to cup her tired swollen face, "Olivia, this baby is being born tonight no matter what we do – and there's nothing we CAN do baby I'm sorry. But with your blood pressure so high the only way any of you" his voice shook "the best thing for the babies and you is to have them delivered. They're 34 weeks, that's 6 weeks longer than what they say is a safe time for twins to be born. You need to give birth Liv – our babies need you to be around. I need you to be around".

"Oh" she moaned, her eyes panicking "I'm pushing Elliot, my body's pushing I can't stop it!"

"You don't need to stop it Liv, just let the baby come. Push out our baby Olivia…there we go, nice short pushes. He's coming Liv, the head is almost out – push for me honey".

Olivia gave in to her body's demands, allowing the powerful surges causing the top of her belly to curl under to carry her infant through.

Elliot had rolled up his sleeves and was cupping the baby's head as it emerged, gently pushing back and stretching the tight ring of skin so Olivia didn't tear.

"Liv, Liv he's almost here baby. Look, look at our baby Liv" Olivia reached down a shaky hand and it brushed against the wet downy crest of the baby's head.

Knowing there was no going back now, Olivia steadied herself with one hand on Elliot's shoulder while the other massaged her rigid belly and she made herself bear down - with Elliot helping her to open wider for the delivery of the shoulders.

Just at the moment Olivia felt as though she couldn't stretch any further or push any harder, everything stopped. The baby was out.

Elliot felt Olivia's body give one final shuddering bone cracking push and then he was holding his son in his hands.

He cradled the baby in the crook of his arm as he worked his t-shirt off with the other. Wiping away the blood and fluid and trauma of his birth he stared down at his son.

Olivia's legs had given out and she'd sunk to the floor after the final push but her eyes were locked on their tiny son.

"Is he okay?"

Elliot didn't reply for a moment and then smiled, grinning widely as he looked back at Olivia, at the glorious woman who had just given birth under horrible conditions to their son – who was healthy and pink and breathing on his own although he didn't cry immediately.

The baby wrinkled his nose and started to squeak and flail out after a moment, the tiny gurgling cries music to their ears.

Olivia held out her arms for her son, and Elliot bent over and kissed her as he passed their baby son over to her.

Tears running down her cheeks, Olivia choked back a mix between a sob and a laugh as she looked down at her baby.

"Hi sweet baby" her voice cracked and she sniffed "Hi Lucas, my love" she looked up at Elliot.

"El, he's so small" she whispered in a mixture of shock and awe as she looked down at the tiny curled up infant cuddled against her chest and lying overtop of her still huge belly.

"Hold him against you, skin to skin – it'll keep him warm". Elliot helped her make a kind of sling with his t-shirt so she could hold the baby against her under the cover of her t-shirt but have her arms and hands free.

Picking up the both of them, Elliot transferred Olivia over to the couch after spreading towels and sheets across it.

"Are you feeling any more contractions yet?" he asked as he came back into the room with a cool damp cloth to lay across her forehead.

Olivia closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them her gaze was tortured and glassy. "I don't know – I, I'm so dizzy El".

He wrapped the blood pressure cuff around her arm, feeling his heart sink when the reading came back so high he almost took it again just to be sure.

"Olivia" he said brokenly, "your blood pressure is 180 over 60, baby we need to get you to a hospital. I'm so sorry Liv I should have taken you straight away. We never even should have come up here".

"Elliot – Elliot don't. None of this is your fault, you have to know I believe that. Please, please just help me get her out" her hand fell to her stomach.

"You have to promise me you will do whatever you have to to make sure they're safe. Promise me Elliot, no matter what happens with me or anything else – just make sure they're okay".

"No one's losing anybody Olivia do you hear me?"

"Get her out Elliot, if my blood pressure's that high she's not getting enough oxygen" Olivia mumbled with Elliot rearranging her on the couch.

Elliot had put a pile of cushions behind her so she could lean against them to sit up and he'd braced one leg against the couch so she could push.

Elliot brushed his thumb along the inside of her thigh reassuringly as he checked to see how close the baby was to coming.

But what he felt in the wet darkness wasn't the smooth curve of the baby's head.

"She hasn't turned Liv…the baby's still breech – I can feel her foot".

"It's too late to try and turn her" Olivia gasped as the contractions started up again.

"Oh God, oh God! Uuuugh God help me – agh!" ignoring the dizzying pounding in her head and the rushing blood in her ears Olivia raised herself slightly off the couch, pushing with every last bit of strength she had although it wasn't much.

"Liv – Olivia! The cord is wrapped around her body, I need you to turn over so it untwists".

He got her onto her hands and knees again on the floor and thankfully the baby had turned so the cord wasn't wrapping tighter with each contraction.

"Come on Liv, push her out. Push out your daughter, that's good baby keep pushing " he encouraged her as he guided out one foot, keeping an eye on the swaddled bundle of their son on the floor.

As the thicker part of the baby's hips and torso stretched her Olivia bit her lip so hard she tasted blood, but she didn't feel her baby move down – it was stuck.

Elliot held her legs and thighs as she pushed, her hand cupping the almost newborn.

It felt like throwing up in reverse, her stomach was queasy but the pain was all but unbearable as contractions ripped her from the inside out.

"Good – all that's left is the head Liv, come on".

Her shoulders shook as she cried and strained and Elliot turned her head with his free hand so he could kiss her.

"I love you so much Liv. You're being so brave and so strong for our babies". She just cried and kissed him back until her lips twisted in a grimace of pain as the next contractions took hold. Elliot moved his hand to press down on her lower belly just above the head so it didn't slip back with the release of every contraction.

With a final ear-shattering cry Olivia pushed one last time and delivered the baby's head.

Elliot caught the baby in his strong, capable hands. She was even smaller than her brother – Elliot could almost hold her in the palm of his hand. But the moment she had been born she let the world know her displeasure with a surprisingly loud cry that pinked up her tiny fragile body nicely.

He swaddled her up at tightly as he had her brother and laid her beside him on the small nest of blankets and the laundry basket he'd arranged on the floor as a makeshift bassinet.

Then his attention turned to Olivia again, as soon as he had reached out to her she had slumped into his arms with an almost dead weight.

"They're okay" she mumbled into his chest. "They're going to be fine Liv, now we need to worry about you. The placentas have still got to come out".

Olivia grimaced, a hand going weakly to her stomach. "I feel so sick and heavy Elliot, please – please just let me lie down with the babies".

Olivia's pleas broke his heart but he continued on firmly, "Olivia, they have to be delivered now or you'll keep bleeding heavily or get an infection from the retained afterbirth".

"I can't Elliot"

"Yes, you can" he said firmly, drawing her into his arms so she could lean against him during the contractions that would bring out the afterbirth. "I just watched you give birth to two babies with no pain medication or medication at all on a mountaintop cabin with no electricity and a storm raging outside after confronting a dangerous perp. You can do anything Olivia – I believe that and I believe in you".

Olivia whimpered as her belly clenched up again. Following what he knew about emergency childbirth from his police academy days, he used both hands to press into her belly from behind, massaging deeply to make sure everything pertaining to the birth was expelled.

"Your hands feel so good on me" she mumbled, her eyes half closed with exhaustion.

Leaning into the strong breadth of Elliot for support, Olivia breathed in deeply and squeezed her eyes shut in concentration as she delivered one placenta, and then the other.

She gave a shuddering sigh of relief when they were both out, feeling considerably lighter and less ill without the dead weighty tissue inside her.

Too weak to do anything but hold onto Elliot, Olivia felt herself being carried into the bedroom and tucked into bed once Elliot had cleaned up and changed her clothes.

"Babies" Elliot saw her mouth form the words as he laid her down on the bed.

Elliot returned with two teary sleepily blinking babies in his arms. Already bare-chested he slipped into bed beside Olivia so that they faced each other, forming a protective cage around the babies with their bodies, warming them with the skin to skin contact they knew preemies needed.

Olivia lay on her side, her tiny daughter curled up into her chest and she tilted her head back so her tears wouldn't land on the baby and chill her.

"Liv what is it?"

Looking down at her babies she drew in a shuddering breath "I'm sorry I couldn't keep you in my belly sweet babies…"

"I love them so much Elliot" she whispered, her eyes desperate and searching. "What if something happens to them? What if they stop breathing or their sucking and swallowing reflex isn't fully developed or, or…"

"Shhh, Liv, Olivia…look" he glanced down at their children cradled securely between their own warm bodies.

"You're amazing, you just gave birth to our babies Olivia and they're breathing by themselves and they are so beautiful. You did so good Liv, they're here and we're not going to lose them…No more than I'm going to lose you" he said fiercely.

A tear escaped Olivia's closed eyes and ran down her cheek as she pressed trembling lips to her daughter's soft downy head.

She cuddled the baby close and Elliot used his free arm to bring her closer to him so her head lay on his chest with the babies still between them soaking up the vital warmth of their skin.

"She's so tiny" Olivia ran a finger along the fold at the baby's neck and the newborn turned, looking up at her with the biggest, deepest blue eyes.

"Hi sweet girl" Olivia whispered, a wide grin cracking her face. "I'm so glad you're here Ella. We've been waiting so long to meet you and your brother…we love you so much".

The babies' eyes were closing in sleep, their tiny clenched fists twitching slightly as they relaxed. Olivia was terrified to let them sleep, scared to death that they would stop breathing in the regular quick rise and fall she could feel as she held them against her.

"They're okay Liv – I'll be watching them as they sleep – try and get some rest Liv, you're still in danger of having a seizure if your blood pressure stays up like this. You'll need to be rested if you're going to try and nurse them when they wake up".

It was a sign of just how much Olivia trusted Elliot that she allowed her eyes to close to sleep.

Keeping watch during the night, Elliot stared down at his family – his heart so full he thought it might burst as he watched the three loves of his life sleep, all cradled together in a group.

No matter what would happen, or had happened in his life or in this past – he thought; Elliot Stabler was the luckiest man on Earth.

**Phew - okay so the babies were born safely. But how long can they hold out before they need to get to the hospital? For the both the babies and Olivia. Only the rise of morning will tell! xoxo review my lovelies xoxo**


	21. Chapter 21: Wrapping Up

**Bleagh, so unmotivated this week. BUT I've also started working on a new EO. The first chapter should be up in a few days :) Olivia gets stuck staying undercover as a burlesque stripper at the Matryoshka Club - owned by the Russian mob. Elliot has to step in and there's plenty of smut and vodka. But anyway...I'm pretty sure this is going to be the last chapter, but you never know...SO review my darlings! xoxo**

That night his eyes never closed for more than a nanosecond when he blinked.

Around 6 am, Ella's soft cries woke Olivia – and she opened her eyes to see Elliot leaning against the headboard. Their two babies snuggled into his broad chest. Lucas' little fist was up by his mouth as he slept but Ella kept making little disgruntled squeaks as she pursed her tiny lips.

"Oh baby, you're hungry" Olivia cooed.

Elliot skillfully juggled the babies and pillows, just managing to prop a few pillows behind Olivia as she sat up, painfully slowly, achingly aware of just how weak she still was.

Her breasts felt rock hard in their swollenness – she didn't know how she was going to manage to feed the babies without crying out in pain.

Elliot handed Ella over to her and Olivia looked unsure; "what if there's no milk? God, El they hurt so bad – is something wrong? How are we going to feed them?"

Elliot brushed his hand across her cheek, letting it fall to just graze the top of her breast – causing her to look down and see her eagerly rooting daughter.

The moment the baby closed her tiny rosebud lips around her; Olivia stiffened at the tug of pain deep in her womb but soon relaxed as it ebbed away. Leaving only a warm spreading feeling of contentment and relief as her milk began to flow.

And it looked like their daughter was equally grateful.

As the baby nursed, Olivia wondered over every part of her – tracing her features, kissing every finger and toe.

She smiled up at Elliot as the baby's tiny fist caught hold of her finger, but after a moment her expression grew serious. "We need to get them to a hospital El; they need more specialized care than body heat and milk".

Elliot glanced at the clock, "just a few more hours Liv, they'll be here as soon as the sun is up". He shifted baby Lucas slightly over to the right, reaching over to brush Olivia's hair back from her face; "How are you feeling?"

Olivia smiled tiredly as she leaned back against the pillows. "I'll be okay as long as they are".

Trying to jostle Olivia as little as possible, Elliot lifted tiny Ella out of her arms and handed her Lucas to nurse.

Elliot could literally pick each baby up with one arm, his hand able to cover their head and shoulders.

"I can't believe they were in my belly just last night" Olivia wondered aloud as Elliot's hand moved to gently rest on her still swollen, but empty womb.

It wasn't long after Lucas had fallen asleep at Olivia's breast that they heard the approach of the police chopper and Elliot went out to meet them.

Olivia protested when they tried to secure her on the stretcher, but Elliot calmed her down from the post partum hormone swings by promising her he'd be right by the babies' during the flight out.

But when everyone had boarded the small helicopter, there was a third cry that could be heard apart from Lucas and Ella's.

The sheriff went on to explain that they'd been called out by the chopper to investigate a seemingly abandoned crashed car down the mountain.

When his men had arrived, they'd found the driver – a lean blonde woman slumped over the steering wheel. Her head split open from hitting the front window when she'd lost control of the car.

She had had a baby with her. A little girl about 8 months old who had been sleeping peacefully in the backseat when they'd found her with barely a scratch on her from the accident. ,

"Julia" Olivia breathed, and Elliot nodded as another EMT pointed out a mobile bassinet near the front of the helicopter.

"El, Elliot you have to call Shauna Neves" Olivia struggled to get the words out.

Maybe it was because they were in the air but she felt so dizzy she had to shut her eyes to keep from being sick. But as her eyes closed they felt so heavy she couldn't resist the allure of keeping them close for a few moments…until the blackness pulled her under and the few moments turned into a great deal longer.

"Her blood pressure's crashing – heart rate down to 40 over 60" the relatively calm inside of the helicopter turned instantly to a flurry of activity as the medics worked over Olivia.

"Pupils not responsive to light, nothing blocking the airway".

Elliot watched in wordless terror as he saw the proof on the computer screen of Olivia's life slipping away.

Sitting up by her head, he pressed his lips to her forehead as he held her still for the medics to perform CPR.

"Olivia, Olivia baby listen to me. "You've done so good. You've been so strong for our babies but I need you to hold on a little longer Liv, just a little longer till we get to the hospital".

His throat caught and his chest felt as though it would burst. "I love you so much, Olivia Benson. Only you…it's always been you. You are the strongest person I know Liv – and you've been so strong these last months and days. But you did it. They're here and they're perfect Olivia. You told me that feeling them kick in your belly was what gave you the strength to go on sometimes. You've been so strong, and endured what most women couldn't. And I know its not fair to ask you to endure any more. But we're almost there. And they still need you Liv…I still need you. Think about our babies Liv – think about holding them in your arms while I hold you in mine. Because I'll never let go Liv, ever.

Olivia's eyelids fluttered slightly and her lips parted in a low moan although her eyes still didn't open.

"Pulse is rising – keep the IV going she's still in shock".

With three other patients in the helicopter, albeit tiny ones – all the emergency heating blankets were in use so Elliot, with a nod of permission from the paramedics lifted Olivia into his arms with heart breaking tenderness holding her to him so she could absorb his body heat.

"Keep talking, keep her awake and lucid" the medic demanded, still fiddling with monitors and hanging the IV from the ceiling. "It'll be another 20 minutes until we land".

Elliot brushed aside her hair so that he was whispering into her ear. "Did I tell you how beautiful our babies are Liv?"

"My babies" she murmured into his chest, Elliot's heart clenching painfully at the relief of hearing her voice.

"They look like little sausage rolls Liv. They're all wrapped up in the aluminum warming blankets".

Olivia scrunched up her nose slightly, frowning at the use of sausage rolls to describe the babies.

"But they're the cutest sausage rolls I've ever seen".

"Not sausage rolls" she mumbled drowsily, her head still drooping onto Elliot's chest and her eyes closed.

"Not sausage rolls, huh? Okay how about burritos?"

"You can tell that story to Ella on her prom night" Olivia said with a ghost of a smile on her face but a moment later clenched up uncomfortably.

"Liv…What is it?"

"Hurts" she whimpered, turning more into his chest and burying her face in his shoulder.

"What hurts, baby?"

"Everything…my head, my belly, my arms" she raised her hand weakly to bring Elliot's hand down so that it just grazed the sides of her breasts and a tear rolled down her cheek.

Even though she was shivering with the after-effects of shock, Elliot could feel how rock-hard and hot her breasts were through the thin fabric of her shirt.

"I know Liv, I know it hurts…it's all your milk coming in".

Olivia tried to push herself off of Elliot's chest but she was too weak.

Eyes blinking open and shut slowly with exhaustion she looked up at Elliot tearfully, not able to say anything so he just rocked her back and forth. Holding her gently to him as the helicopter landed on the roof of the hospital.

A couple hours later Olivia was in a private hospital room after having various injuries stitched up and what felt like a million tests run.

Now she was clean and warm and in serious danger of falling asleep due to the heavy duty anti-biotics and other medications swirling around in her IV drip.

She'd told Elliot to go with the babies while they were checked out, and she wouldn't sleep until she heard it from his lips that they were okay.

Her eyelids got heavier and heavier and then she heard a rubber squeak by the door and turned her head on her pillow to see Elliot wheeling in some sort of high tech bassinet.

She closed her eyes in relief at seeing her babies; even the two hours she'd just spent away from them already seemed unbearably long.

Olivia looked up at Elliot with questioning eyes and he nodded at her smiling. "As long as we keep them skin to skin we can hold them.

As Elliot picked up Lucas the baby's red little face scrunched up in a cry and his legs tucked up to his belly.

At the sound of her baby crying, Olivia felt a further achy heaviness in her breasts.

But the medicine was making her so tired, and she was still so weak that she didn't trust her arms to hold her precious little bundles.

Seeing the distress on her face, Elliot sat down carefully on the side of the hospital bed, after putting the railing down. Olivia leaning into his chest as he helped her to hold their son.

"Help me" she whispered up to Elliot, never taking her eyes off the baby.

Elliot parted the folds of her hospital gown and helped Lucas to latch on. Olivia's eyes closed and her head dropped back slightly with a moan of relief as the baby nursed, giving her blessed relief from the burning agony of being unable to nurse for several hours.

After Lucas was done, Elliot propped the tiny baby on his shoulder and rubbed his back before placing him back in the heated bassinet and picking up little Ella.

"Oh sweet girl" Olivia cooed as the baby wrapped her hand around Olivia's finger while she sucked.

She pressed her cheek against the baby's soft downy head and gazed over at the second tiny bundle in the bassinet.

"I'm so in love with them, Elliot" she looked up at him, almost looking nervous. "I never thought it would be like this. Even though my belly's empty I still feel like I'm carrying them with me. I'm responsible for these two lives Elliot…and they're the most precious lives imaginable".

"That's why I'm here Liv…I'm never letting go".

**Show me the love guys! Hope you've enjoyed this story :)**


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